Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Walking a mile in the wrong pair of shoes

So my letter to the editor of the Daily Kent Stater got published this week, which I'm pretty excited about. It was a weird moment of deja vu to see my name in the paper again, which I've tried to avoid reading since graduating, but when I heard about the "Walk a Mile in her Shoes" event to "increase awareness for sexual assault," I couldn't not say something about it. Trying to compress my response in 300 words or less was extremely difficult, and this is a subject I wish I'd written a full column on when I had the chance. But, you can only write about what you know at the present moment. I didn't have a passion for this subject at the time I was on the forum staff. Oh how things have changed.

What I really wanted to say, but didn't (not after the insane backlash to my column about fraternities dropping their pants for breast cancer awareness) was this...what is the point of all this, really? I already know it's for a good cause, and with the best of intentions behind it. But this, quite honestly, is one of the silliest ideas for "awareness" I've ever heard. And there are some very silly ones out there (remember the "update your status with the color bra you're wearing" epidemic? Or turning your Facebook profile picture pink?).

The event was intended to "help men better understand and appreciate women's experiences, helping improve gender relationships and decreasing the potential for violence." I'm sorry, but...how is this accomplished, exactly? How is forcing man feet into dainty high-heeled shoes supposed to help men understand what it's like for women to be at risk of sexual assault? And what about the fact that not all rapes occur on "Thirsty Thursdays" when the aforementioned high heels might be worn? What about date and acquaintance rapes? What about taking time to define what "counts" as rape, and what counts as consent? And what about female-on-male assaults?What about that, KSU?

If there's a connection to be made somewhere, I'm not following. Maybe there was a seminar before or after the event that I'm not aware of, but if the walk was all there was to it, I have to say that my alma mater missed a tremendous opportunity to educate its students. This event had so much potential, and fell so short. What a damn shame.

If I only had the space to do so (and if only I'd thought of it at the time I wrote the letter), I would have included this little zinger at the end: telling women not to get raped is like telling pedestrians "Don't get hit by a bus!" It's not the pedestrians who need extensive training. Rather, it's the drivers who need to learn the traffic laws and watch what the heck they're doing.

But instead, the brunt of mis-education falls mostly on women, who are told time and time again how to act in situations that are beyond their control. And that is not okay.

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