Well now that my first year of grad school is over, I FINALLY have time to write! Write blogs, that is. I don't want to know how many pages I printed this semester for class. Enough to compose a book, I'm sure.
By now, what Abercrombie and Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries said about why his store doesn't carry plus-size clothing is old news. I, however, have been formatting my response to this little catch-phrase that came up in retaliation when his interview went viral: Real women have curves!
It's a nice sentiment, really. I think America Ferrara was in a decent movie of the same title. As a woman, I appreciate those who understand that beauty isn't a one-size-fits-all package. But as a woman who is only 5'0", graduated high school at barely 90 pounds, and didn't even weigh 110 pounds until spending a semester abroad in Italy, and DOESN'T have an eating disorder, I am honestly hurt by that statement. It's well-intentioned, but ultimately misguided.
Furthermore, you have to admit that it's dangerous to try and define what a "real woman" is, beyond someone who is born with a vagina. Even when meant as a compliment, it's treading very hollow ground.
I'm not writing this to complain, but rather to shed light on the other side of the "What does a real woman look like?" conversation. The real reason I was so small for most of my life is probably because of my highly competitive figure skating lifestyle, which lasted ten years (age seven to seventeen). But genes factor into that as well -- my mother is naturally slender, and so is my grandmother. We all have ridiculously high metabolisms, so you'll rarely see me NOT hungry. And yet, no matter what I eat (or how much), my weight remains around the same.
Before you begin to say "Ugh, I HATE you! I wish I had that problem!" let me just say that it's not as easy as it sounds. It is nearly impossible for me to find clothes, mostly jeans, that fit right. Dresses and skirts that are meant to flatter a woman's curves hang awkwardly on my frame. Not having a "woman's body" makes it easy for people to assume I'm much younger than I am, which often leads to patronizing remarks that are difficult to deflect. It's not fun being 24 and feeling trapped in the body of a 13 year old. And then there's the taunting I received in high school, and occasionally in college: "Don't you eat?" Of course I eat! Seriously, just ask my roommate.
As rude as it is to make fun of a woman with noticeable curves, it's just as rude to make disparaging comments about a healthy woman who doesn't have them. But believe me, this one wishes she did. Just how the grass is always greener on the other side, the cocktail dress looks better on the other side of the rack.
My point in talking about this isn't to compare who has it worse in terms of body image. There are plenty of difficulties in being a few pounds heavier or lighter than you'd like.
But Jeffries isn't concerned about that. He wants his clothes worn by thin, pretty people. He dislikes fat people. Fine. But how do you define "fat," exactly? Obesity can't always be detected just by looking at someone. A few pounds over an otherwise healthy BMI doesn't equate to "fat." But a few pounds less than an otherwise healthy BMI doesn't scream "Anorexic!" either.
The picture of health is different for everyone. So encouraging one body type over another, even if it's a less-appreciated curvy body type that represents the "average" woman, isn't right. Healthy eating and living is what should be encouraged. Some women are a natural size 8 or 10, and some of us are a natural 4 or a 2. That's nothing to brag or feel guilty about. Changing yourself to fit a certain status quo is.
