When I think of feminism, I think of women deserving to have the same rights as men, and equal protection under the law. The feminist movement, despite its good intentions, unknowingly made it permissible for women to degrade men under the guise of “sexual freedom,” completely contradicting its original purpose.
I wonder how many women are aware of the irony in embracing the douchebag qualities of men that sparked the feminist movement in the first place. The underlying message of the ever-popular TV show “Sex and the City” is that women having sex "like men" (solely for pleasure, no strings attached) without the burden of a scarlet letter is more than just a treasured freedom. It’s a fundamental right.
Nothing is being accomplished as more women embrace this mindset. Today, women are adopting the same oppressive attitudes of the men who used women as nothing more than sex objects. It makes little difference that both parties agree that no commitment will come out of their sexual relations. The attitude of "I don't really care about this person, but wow is he/she hot" remains the same. Women do not gain power and dignity if men have permission to view them as nothing more than vehicles of pleasure, all because now the woman is supposed to be "proud" of her body and "own" her sexuality.
Men have gotten away with oppressing women and using them for sex for far too long. Women who gleefully mimic their oppressors by treating men the exact same way are making a grave mistake.
It depresses me to see how many women fall victim to the belief that being proud of their bodies and sexuality (now that, at least in the United States, it's no longer taboo to express it) means submitting themselves as playthings, even with their knowledge and consent. Why should men feel bad about objectifying women, if more women subconsciously embrace the values that once enslaved them?
Sexual freedom for women should mean not having to worry about having to sleep with a guy as compensation for a nice dinner. Sexual freedom should mean that both genders don’t have to worry about when they should sleep together so they'll know for sure the other is "interested." Sexual freedom, above all else, is the ability to say "no" without having to be labeled a prude.
Feminism is, in part, shedding a culturally socialized female responsibility to men. Not automatically deferring to men in all arenas of life, including sex.
ReplyDeleteSex and the City is not feminism. Sex and the City is entertainment.
Sexual freedom is choosing when, how, and with whom to have sex. Sexual freedom is about owning and utilizing your very own, personalized, yours-to-keep sexuality in a way that is healthy and positive for you. If that means no sex or vanilla sex, then that's your choice. If that means some sex or lots of sex or kinky sex or gay sex or poly-amorous sex--whatever it is, then that's your choice.
Why does it have to be that men and women are "objectifying" one another in choosing to have sex? Or that one of them undoubtedly must feel like they "owe" the other in order to engage in consensual sex? What about partners who find one another attractive, get along, share the same likes and interests, maybe have disclosed that they have similar sexual interests, and want to pursue a healthy, enjoyable, mutually satisfying sexual relationship of their choosing?
Some of what you are implying is absolutely observable in a college environment, I'll give you that. Women seeking men, often with the promise of sexual activity extended because they believe that is what men want and respond to...but I doubt that any of those girls would consider themselves feminists! Don't look to a college campus for feminist inspiration! You will likely not find it.
You explore a lot of ideas and you're a great writer, but here you seem to only look for examples that verify YOUR opinion rather than looking at the entire spectrum of behavior. No offense intended. You might consider looking into "sex-negative culture" or "slut-shaming" as you continue to develop your understanding of sexual freedom.