Hope which was lost, now stands renewed

No offense to chocolate bunnies, but Easter has taken on a completely different meaning for me this year. This entire weekend has happened at a time where I finally am able to somewhat understand what it must have been like for Jesus' disciples in the time that passed between his crucifixion and resurrection.

They felt hopeless, the way anyone would feel after losing someone they looked up to and loved. Having lost someone close to me recently, I've been feeling hopeless for far too long. The disciples had no way of knowing that hope was literally just around the corner, and neither did I. It's one of the most frustrating feelings in the world, to be experiencing terrible pain without any hope in sight. Almost any kind of pain might be better tolerated if a happy ending could be guaranteed when it's over. Unfortunately for impatient people like me, only God knows the future. But fortunately, for everybody, God makes everything work together for our good.

You just never know what can happen if you push yourself for one more day. Situations can change for the better in as much time as it took for your world to be turned upside down and inside out. It sounds cheesy, but I think of how Anne Frank died of typhus just weeks before the concentration camp she was sent to was liberated. Now obviously there was nothing she could have done when she was inflicted by a terrible disease, but for everyone still alive and wondering what the point was of living another day, hope was on its way. No one can see it coming, but that doesn't mean it isn't there.

This weekend, I met my twin sister. Spiritual twin sister, anyway -- a woman who is a Christian from a Jewish family, like me. I wish I could have met her years ago when I first realized Jesus was calling me to him and I was absolutely terrified of how my family would react, but all things happen in God's timing, not mine. We talked for four hours on Saturday and it's uncanny how much we are the same. I could not have asked for a better Easter present. I've been miserable for so long but after this weekend I have reasons to hope again, and I know it's because of God.

And here I am (on the right) with the woman who set us up:

My future roommate Cathy and I, all dolled up for Easter. In church we wrote down all the things we've struggled with on little pieces of paper, and tacked them to a wooden cross, to symbolize Jesus taking all that crap with him when he went into the grave, and then tossing it away and making us new creations when he rose from the dead. If only it wasn't so rainy and gross outside. It's hard to feel like a beautiful new creation when my hair won't stay straight...

Happy Freedom Day to you :)

~Sarahbeth