My final farewell column!
There is one word I can think of to best describe my experience at Kent State: ironic. When I began my freshman year, I thought I had my life all figured out. I barely made it through sophomore year before my carefully constructed plans started to unravel.
You’ve probably heard the expression, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” That is definitely a prominent theme in my life. I also firmly believe that God has a sense of humor, which became more apparent as I progressed further in my college experience.
When I was seventeen, I wanted to be a rabbi – I never in a million years expected to be drawn to Christianity in the fall of my sophomore year.
I never thought I’d get the chance to study abroad and end up learning difficult, but worthwhile, lessons about leaving what is comfortable and familiar.
There were other experiences that will make college one of the most memorable periods of my life; from being baptized in the Student Recreation and Wellness Center pool, to getting a tattoo, to legally changing my name, college has been a never-ending series of drastic decisions that I never thought I’d make. I have surprised myself, my family and close friends and learned so much about the nature of unconditional love.
I also never expected to become a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater and expose my most personal, tightly-held convictions for the entire campus to read. My goal for being a columnist was to challenge people to think deeper about issues that go beyond the scope of daily college life. If I was able to inspire just one person, even if I infuriated everyone else, it will have been worth it.
I firmly believe that those who are most reluctant to understand someone else’s worldview, regardless of how abhorrent it may seem, are the ones who are most likely to experience a complete 180. If your beliefs are never challenged, if you’ve never had to step outside your comfort zone, you are not living in reality. We are all searching for some kind of purpose, and it may come to you at the most inconvenient time. It happened to me, and it could happen to anybody.
I quickly learned how naïve I was to expect my original plans from high school to stay the same as I got older. I learned that no one can stay the same forever – life just does not allow for that to happen. I have a better understanding now of where I am meant to go in life – I’m contemplating a career as a chaplain or pastoral counselor, but I know that those plans can change at any given time.
The following verse from Proverbs 3:5-6 is the motto of my life: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, and he will show you which path to take.”
Go where you are meant to go, and everything will fall into place.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed
No offense to chocolate bunnies, but Easter has taken on a completely different meaning for me this year. This entire weekend has happened at a time where I finally am able to somewhat understand what it must have been like for Jesus' disciples in the time that passed between his crucifixion and resurrection.
They felt hopeless, the way anyone would feel after losing someone they looked up to and loved. Having lost someone close to me recently, I've been feeling hopeless for far too long. The disciples had no way of knowing that hope was literally just around the corner, and neither did I. It's one of the most frustrating feelings in the world, to be experiencing terrible pain without any hope in sight. Almost any kind of pain might be better tolerated if a happy ending could be guaranteed when it's over. Unfortunately for impatient people like me, only God knows the future. But fortunately, for everybody, God makes everything work together for our good.
You just never know what can happen if you push yourself for one more day. Situations can change for the better in as much time as it took for your world to be turned upside down and inside out. It sounds cheesy, but I think of how Anne Frank died of typhus just weeks before the concentration camp she was sent to was liberated. Now obviously there was nothing she could have done when she was inflicted by a terrible disease, but for everyone still alive and wondering what the point was of living another day, hope was on its way. No one can see it coming, but that doesn't mean it isn't there.
This weekend, I met my twin sister. Spiritual twin sister, anyway -- a woman who is a Christian from a Jewish family, like me. I wish I could have met her years ago when I first realized Jesus was calling me to him and I was absolutely terrified of how my family would react, but all things happen in God's timing, not mine. We talked for four hours on Saturday and it's uncanny how much we are the same. I could not have asked for a better Easter present. I've been miserable for so long but after this weekend I have reasons to hope again, and I know it's because of God.
And here I am (on the right) with the woman who set us up:
My future roommate Cathy and I, all dolled up for Easter. In church we wrote down all the things we've struggled with on little pieces of paper, and tacked them to a wooden cross, to symbolize Jesus taking all that crap with him when he went into the grave, and then tossing it away and making us new creations when he rose from the dead. If only it wasn't so rainy and gross outside. It's hard to feel like a beautiful new creation when my hair won't stay straight...
Happy Freedom Day to you :)
~Sarahbeth
They felt hopeless, the way anyone would feel after losing someone they looked up to and loved. Having lost someone close to me recently, I've been feeling hopeless for far too long. The disciples had no way of knowing that hope was literally just around the corner, and neither did I. It's one of the most frustrating feelings in the world, to be experiencing terrible pain without any hope in sight. Almost any kind of pain might be better tolerated if a happy ending could be guaranteed when it's over. Unfortunately for impatient people like me, only God knows the future. But fortunately, for everybody, God makes everything work together for our good.
You just never know what can happen if you push yourself for one more day. Situations can change for the better in as much time as it took for your world to be turned upside down and inside out. It sounds cheesy, but I think of how Anne Frank died of typhus just weeks before the concentration camp she was sent to was liberated. Now obviously there was nothing she could have done when she was inflicted by a terrible disease, but for everyone still alive and wondering what the point was of living another day, hope was on its way. No one can see it coming, but that doesn't mean it isn't there.
This weekend, I met my twin sister. Spiritual twin sister, anyway -- a woman who is a Christian from a Jewish family, like me. I wish I could have met her years ago when I first realized Jesus was calling me to him and I was absolutely terrified of how my family would react, but all things happen in God's timing, not mine. We talked for four hours on Saturday and it's uncanny how much we are the same. I could not have asked for a better Easter present. I've been miserable for so long but after this weekend I have reasons to hope again, and I know it's because of God.
And here I am (on the right) with the woman who set us up:
My future roommate Cathy and I, all dolled up for Easter. In church we wrote down all the things we've struggled with on little pieces of paper, and tacked them to a wooden cross, to symbolize Jesus taking all that crap with him when he went into the grave, and then tossing it away and making us new creations when he rose from the dead. If only it wasn't so rainy and gross outside. It's hard to feel like a beautiful new creation when my hair won't stay straight...
Happy Freedom Day to you :)
~Sarahbeth
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Funny stuff my cats do
There is no real point to this post except to show off how cute my babies are.
This is how I always end up with cat hair on my keyboard.
Imagine having to get up at 3 in the morning to pee, and see these eyes staring at you. You'd pee your pants too.
Note to self: kitties and caffeine are a BAD combination
Brotherly embrace? Choke hold? Hmm...
"We didn't do nothin'!"
The best part about coming home: this little critter keeping my legs warm as I'm reading
Brothers :)
Can you tell I'm procrastinating?
'Average' is a dirty word
There was a time in my life when I actually daydreamed of becoming a warrior — the next Joan of Arc, if you will, minus the tragic execution. While I was a typical teen girl with idle crushes and an obsession with shopping, I knew there was something bigger that I was meant to do with my life. For as long as I can remember, “average” has been considered a bad word in my vocabulary.
The idea of being a warrior — whatever that means in 21st century America — is a lonely one, and probably unrealistic. How easy and simple life would be if I just let go of my childhood dream of changing the world, and instead focused on indulging the desires of my heart. How would life be different if I just decided to settle on average happiness and nothing more?
People find happiness, security and comfort in many ways — drinking, sex, getting high, playing video games and other forms of entertainment. I've attempted to find happiness in most of those things. The happiness I did find was short-lived, and often left me feeling lonelier and emptier than before. Something was always missing; I knew there had to be more to life than mere satisfaction. Is it really necessary to chase every possible pleasure in order to live meaningfully? Will our lives be empty if we’re forced to live without certain things we want? Not everything we desperately crave is what we really need.
As difficult and painful as it may be at times, I decided that my biggest objective in life is to live in a way that matters, not to live in a way that makes me happy. I have nothing against being happy, but living a life of eternal significance sometimes requires the sacrifice of comfort. We would never have heard of figures like Joan of Arc, Martin Luther King Jr., or my greatest hero of all, Jesus, if happiness and pleasure were the pinnacles of success in life. Many, if not all, of the freedoms we enjoy today were given to us on behalf of seemingly “average” men and women who willingly sacrificed happiness for causes more noble than simply getting by in life.
The greatest way to insult me is to call me average. I would not wish that for anybody. Our lives become casualties if we settle for idle comfort over steadfast conviction. People can choose to enter this world quietly and then slip out without making too much of a fuss if they really want to, which is their choice. But I believe that we were made for so much more than that.
The idea of being a warrior — whatever that means in 21st century America — is a lonely one, and probably unrealistic. How easy and simple life would be if I just let go of my childhood dream of changing the world, and instead focused on indulging the desires of my heart. How would life be different if I just decided to settle on average happiness and nothing more?
People find happiness, security and comfort in many ways — drinking, sex, getting high, playing video games and other forms of entertainment. I've attempted to find happiness in most of those things. The happiness I did find was short-lived, and often left me feeling lonelier and emptier than before. Something was always missing; I knew there had to be more to life than mere satisfaction. Is it really necessary to chase every possible pleasure in order to live meaningfully? Will our lives be empty if we’re forced to live without certain things we want? Not everything we desperately crave is what we really need.
As difficult and painful as it may be at times, I decided that my biggest objective in life is to live in a way that matters, not to live in a way that makes me happy. I have nothing against being happy, but living a life of eternal significance sometimes requires the sacrifice of comfort. We would never have heard of figures like Joan of Arc, Martin Luther King Jr., or my greatest hero of all, Jesus, if happiness and pleasure were the pinnacles of success in life. Many, if not all, of the freedoms we enjoy today were given to us on behalf of seemingly “average” men and women who willingly sacrificed happiness for causes more noble than simply getting by in life.
The greatest way to insult me is to call me average. I would not wish that for anybody. Our lives become casualties if we settle for idle comfort over steadfast conviction. People can choose to enter this world quietly and then slip out without making too much of a fuss if they really want to, which is their choice. But I believe that we were made for so much more than that.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Finishing the race
"Give all or give nothing. If you give in even a little bit, you've already compromised, might as well just finish what you've started."
I used to believe those lies, but on some days I stop and think, Can I really call myself a success if I came thisclose to losing? Can I really say that I made it even though there were so many times I wanted nothing more than to give up? Oh, how badly I've wanted to give up...
But slipping up once (or twice, or 5 times, or 12...) doesn't have to automatically equate with failure (does it?).
God bless those who can make it to the finish line without ever screwing up. By all means, finish everything that is noble and worthy. I wish I knew that I could have opted for the nearest way out when I was already knee-deep in a mistake (but not quite over my head). I didn't have to stay stuck just because I already had one foot sinking in mud, and the other still on concrete.
I can finish this race even if it damn near kills me. Oh, how it will be worth it.
I used to believe those lies, but on some days I stop and think, Can I really call myself a success if I came thisclose to losing? Can I really say that I made it even though there were so many times I wanted nothing more than to give up? Oh, how badly I've wanted to give up...
But slipping up once (or twice, or 5 times, or 12...) doesn't have to automatically equate with failure (does it?).
God bless those who can make it to the finish line without ever screwing up. By all means, finish everything that is noble and worthy. I wish I knew that I could have opted for the nearest way out when I was already knee-deep in a mistake (but not quite over my head). I didn't have to stay stuck just because I already had one foot sinking in mud, and the other still on concrete.
I can finish this race even if it damn near kills me. Oh, how it will be worth it.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Confessions of a Sarcastic Christian
I like to consider myself the Queen of Witty Comebacks. Nothing makes me smile more than a snappy one-liner. They rarely come to mind when I need them most, but when they do, they are epic. Well, I'd like to think that they are. See, I'm also the Queen of Ridiculous Cringe-Worthy Puns as well. You just have to know me to really appreciate them.
Unfortunately, the "Whoa burn!" effect of sarcasm slicing bone contradicts everything I know about the Christian duty to respond to criticism with grace. But God has a sense of humor, right? To what extent can a person have a sarcastic sense of humor before they turn vicious?
Perhaps it depends on the situation. While in jest with close friends, I'm not so sensitive about how biting my comebacks might be. If you're my friend, you know not to take my sarcasm seriously. I know when I need to be serious and give encouragement, and keep my snappiness to myself (most of the time). But in the case of anonymous critics, like the ones I've had the pleasure of reading on all my Stater stuff, it's really tempting to take the cute-sy, Taylor Swift approach and chant "Someday I'll be living in a big old city/And all you're ever gonna be is mean/Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me/And all you're ever gonna be is mean" (and then conclude with a hard-hitting, albeit slightly immature "Now put that in your juice box and suck it!").
But, no. I have built a reputation that has lead some people to think I hold myself to a higher moral brackett than the rest of the population (I'm certainly guilty of having pride, but I definitely haven't gone *that* far). And I do believe in loving others as you love yourself, no matter how much they irritate you. I can't honestly call myself a Christian if I take the snappy way out all the time. I must be patient, I must exemplify grace...but you know, most of the time, it's not only difficult...it's just not funny!
So for my last column, I am debating whether I should be humorous and exit with something like "Well guys, this sure has been interesting. I'd like to personally thank everyone who hurt my feelings because you made me a stronger person..." (ad nauseum). Or maybe I should skip all that and do a reflective piece on what an interesting journey college has been. I might just go with that. I've caused enough controversy for two semesters, I think.
Still, I am curious about how to reconcile being like Jesus and being a deeply sarcastic person. I've had this discussion before with people, and I think it just depends on the situation. I come from a bitterly sarcastic family, I don't know how to express myself in any other way. Hopefully at this point in my life, I have learned when it's appropriate, and when I need to bite my tongue and tell my mind to shut itself. I am also the all-too-frequent Queen of Foot-in-Mouth Disease. :)
Unfortunately, the "Whoa burn!" effect of sarcasm slicing bone contradicts everything I know about the Christian duty to respond to criticism with grace. But God has a sense of humor, right? To what extent can a person have a sarcastic sense of humor before they turn vicious?
Perhaps it depends on the situation. While in jest with close friends, I'm not so sensitive about how biting my comebacks might be. If you're my friend, you know not to take my sarcasm seriously. I know when I need to be serious and give encouragement, and keep my snappiness to myself (most of the time). But in the case of anonymous critics, like the ones I've had the pleasure of reading on all my Stater stuff, it's really tempting to take the cute-sy, Taylor Swift approach and chant "Someday I'll be living in a big old city/And all you're ever gonna be is mean/Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me/And all you're ever gonna be is mean" (and then conclude with a hard-hitting, albeit slightly immature "Now put that in your juice box and suck it!").
But, no. I have built a reputation that has lead some people to think I hold myself to a higher moral brackett than the rest of the population (I'm certainly guilty of having pride, but I definitely haven't gone *that* far). And I do believe in loving others as you love yourself, no matter how much they irritate you. I can't honestly call myself a Christian if I take the snappy way out all the time. I must be patient, I must exemplify grace...but you know, most of the time, it's not only difficult...it's just not funny!
So for my last column, I am debating whether I should be humorous and exit with something like "Well guys, this sure has been interesting. I'd like to personally thank everyone who hurt my feelings because you made me a stronger person..." (ad nauseum). Or maybe I should skip all that and do a reflective piece on what an interesting journey college has been. I might just go with that. I've caused enough controversy for two semesters, I think.
Still, I am curious about how to reconcile being like Jesus and being a deeply sarcastic person. I've had this discussion before with people, and I think it just depends on the situation. I come from a bitterly sarcastic family, I don't know how to express myself in any other way. Hopefully at this point in my life, I have learned when it's appropriate, and when I need to bite my tongue and tell my mind to shut itself. I am also the all-too-frequent Queen of Foot-in-Mouth Disease. :)
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Growing up to grow backwards: a paradox
Recently, Abercrombie & Fitch has been surrounded by controversy for releasing a new line of bathing suits with chest padding for pre-teen girls. A mother in Britain has come under fire for giving Botox and bikini waxes to her 8-year-old daughter. Mattel’s line of hooker-esque Bratz dolls have replaced the popularity of the American Girl dolls that I played with as a child. Where am I going with this? I’ve noticed this paradox of growing up: kids are encouraged to do it faster, while adults are trying to slow the process down and retain their youth as long as possible. How does that work, exactly?
If you pick up any women’s magazine or watch enough commercials, you’ll see ads for products that swear to reduce the appearance of wrinkles; a natural occurrence that comes with aging. Looking young is considered important, yet I’m continually amazed at how styles of dress for younger girls has evolved from youthful to young adult. Do little girls really need to be wearing skinny jeans? Is it necessary for a girl to be wearing makeup before she’s old enough to date?
We expect that kids will be curious, so we don’t hesitate much about initiating them in grown-up matters under the guise that “they can’t stay innocent forever.” I have to ask, what is so wrong about allowing kids to remain innocent for as long as possible? Why is there such hurry for them to grow up, only to have them try and reverse the process later on? What is it about youth that young people find distasteful but makes adults fork over large amounts of cash to get it back, even on a surface level?
To be clear, “remaining innocent” is not the same as encouraging ignorance. I believe there are age-appropriate ways to educate kids about matters such as death, suffering, the birds and the bees, etc. The problem isn’t that we want to educate kids, but how we go about it. And then there are some things that kids should never have to know.
For instance, in the movie “Away We Go,” an expectant couple searching for a place to raise their daughter encounters a family who, in one poignant scene, are shown singing along to “The Sound of Music.” The father-to-be inquires, “How do you explain to the kids about the Nazis?” The family explains that they skip that part: “There will be enough time for Nazis later.” The bottom line is that there’s plenty of time to deal with adult issues – when you actually become one. At that point, you’ll wish you’d cherished childhood more. But in a world where 13-year-old Disney singers produce ballads about grown-up heartache, childhood seems to be getting shorter, even less necessary.
I don’t think there’s some kind of magic age where suddenly we exchange innocence for world-weariness. However, now that I’m about to graduate college in less than one month, I wish I hadn’t been in such a hurry to kiss childhood goodbye.
If you pick up any women’s magazine or watch enough commercials, you’ll see ads for products that swear to reduce the appearance of wrinkles; a natural occurrence that comes with aging. Looking young is considered important, yet I’m continually amazed at how styles of dress for younger girls has evolved from youthful to young adult. Do little girls really need to be wearing skinny jeans? Is it necessary for a girl to be wearing makeup before she’s old enough to date?
We expect that kids will be curious, so we don’t hesitate much about initiating them in grown-up matters under the guise that “they can’t stay innocent forever.” I have to ask, what is so wrong about allowing kids to remain innocent for as long as possible? Why is there such hurry for them to grow up, only to have them try and reverse the process later on? What is it about youth that young people find distasteful but makes adults fork over large amounts of cash to get it back, even on a surface level?
To be clear, “remaining innocent” is not the same as encouraging ignorance. I believe there are age-appropriate ways to educate kids about matters such as death, suffering, the birds and the bees, etc. The problem isn’t that we want to educate kids, but how we go about it. And then there are some things that kids should never have to know.
For instance, in the movie “Away We Go,” an expectant couple searching for a place to raise their daughter encounters a family who, in one poignant scene, are shown singing along to “The Sound of Music.” The father-to-be inquires, “How do you explain to the kids about the Nazis?” The family explains that they skip that part: “There will be enough time for Nazis later.” The bottom line is that there’s plenty of time to deal with adult issues – when you actually become one. At that point, you’ll wish you’d cherished childhood more. But in a world where 13-year-old Disney singers produce ballads about grown-up heartache, childhood seems to be getting shorter, even less necessary.
I don’t think there’s some kind of magic age where suddenly we exchange innocence for world-weariness. However, now that I’m about to graduate college in less than one month, I wish I hadn’t been in such a hurry to kiss childhood goodbye.
Friday, April 8, 2011
The end justifies the pain it takes to get us there
I think one of my biggest fears about life is wasting it on being sad. A lot of things hurt me more than they should. As much as I believe that cliche "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," sometimes I'm convinced that holding everything in will take more years off my life instead of making my skin thicker. Sometimes I feel like I have the Midas touch, only everything I touch doesn't turn to gold, it turns to shit.
But then I think...how can you live without ever getting hurt? Can you believe anyone who claims they've never had a broken heart, never been disappointed to the point of holding in tears, never been so broken about something that they didn't feel like getting out of bed? Who can live like that?
Here is what I often wonder...would it be better to live a good, pain-free, quiet life that doesn't make waves, and just slip away at the end of your life without ever making history? Or would it be better to live a life that has some pain, unquenchable yearning for things you can't have, and occassional bitterness, and use all that to serve others and ultimately make the world a little better than it was when you got here? Because I have to say, it's easier to find a friend in the person who has been where I am right now, as opposed to someone who always does the right thing, and has never wept a day in her life (or so she wants the world to think).
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
~ 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
But then I think...how can you live without ever getting hurt? Can you believe anyone who claims they've never had a broken heart, never been disappointed to the point of holding in tears, never been so broken about something that they didn't feel like getting out of bed? Who can live like that?
Here is what I often wonder...would it be better to live a good, pain-free, quiet life that doesn't make waves, and just slip away at the end of your life without ever making history? Or would it be better to live a life that has some pain, unquenchable yearning for things you can't have, and occassional bitterness, and use all that to serve others and ultimately make the world a little better than it was when you got here? Because I have to say, it's easier to find a friend in the person who has been where I am right now, as opposed to someone who always does the right thing, and has never wept a day in her life (or so she wants the world to think).
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
~ 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
On measuring truth and morality
People have wondered about the origins of truth and morality since the beginning of time. Does the environment in which we were raised determine it? Personal instinct? Religion? The answer can be determined by any, or a combination, of those things. However, it is my belief that truth and morality are anything but relative.
Most of us would agree that certain acts, such as rape and child abuse, are always immoral regardless of the circumstances. We say they are wrong because innocent people are being harmed. We also happen to live in a society where both behaviors are considered crimes and are punishable by the law. But what if you grew up in a culture that condones “honor killings” of women who have been raped? Isn’t it likely that you could feel radically different about the issue? Clearly, there are some people who feel that such a heavy penalty is warranted in that situation. We may find it reprehensible, but on what grounds? How can two different groups of people strive to live moral lives in completely opposite ways? Who has the correct moral “truth,” and who doesn’t?
When we insist that truth and morality are relative, something that everyone decides for himself or herself, we risk not having any real reason to justify why we have been wronged. Say that someone breaks into your house and steals your new TV. Your first instinct might be to call the police and report it, but maybe the burglar’s moral code perfectly justifies him taking what does not belong to him if he can’t afford one for himself because he feels that he’s earned it. Would it not be fair, then, to impose a truth that stealing is always wrong?
When making important decisions, doing what “feels right” is another common route. In this “if it feels good, do it” culture, simply having the desire for something is reason enough to go for it. Imagine a husband trying to explain to his wife that he had an affair with a neighbor because it “felt good” at the time. Clearly, making the right choice must require criteria based on something more concrete than emotions.
I have to laugh every time I hear someone say, “There is no such thing as absolute truth.” My response is always, “Is that an absolutely true statement?” If everyone defines truth based on their own made-up standards, why do we have laws? If we believe that justice is determined by culture, what we really mean is that we let society tell us what to believe. We live by behavioral trends and then get offended any time someone has the nerve to share an unpopular way of measuring truth and the origins of morality – especially when shared in an opinion piece. Why bother getting offended if my version of truth is just as relative as everyone else’s?
I make no apologies for having strong, narrow views. But I assure you; I won’t require you to follow them.
Most of us would agree that certain acts, such as rape and child abuse, are always immoral regardless of the circumstances. We say they are wrong because innocent people are being harmed. We also happen to live in a society where both behaviors are considered crimes and are punishable by the law. But what if you grew up in a culture that condones “honor killings” of women who have been raped? Isn’t it likely that you could feel radically different about the issue? Clearly, there are some people who feel that such a heavy penalty is warranted in that situation. We may find it reprehensible, but on what grounds? How can two different groups of people strive to live moral lives in completely opposite ways? Who has the correct moral “truth,” and who doesn’t?
When we insist that truth and morality are relative, something that everyone decides for himself or herself, we risk not having any real reason to justify why we have been wronged. Say that someone breaks into your house and steals your new TV. Your first instinct might be to call the police and report it, but maybe the burglar’s moral code perfectly justifies him taking what does not belong to him if he can’t afford one for himself because he feels that he’s earned it. Would it not be fair, then, to impose a truth that stealing is always wrong?
When making important decisions, doing what “feels right” is another common route. In this “if it feels good, do it” culture, simply having the desire for something is reason enough to go for it. Imagine a husband trying to explain to his wife that he had an affair with a neighbor because it “felt good” at the time. Clearly, making the right choice must require criteria based on something more concrete than emotions.
I have to laugh every time I hear someone say, “There is no such thing as absolute truth.” My response is always, “Is that an absolutely true statement?” If everyone defines truth based on their own made-up standards, why do we have laws? If we believe that justice is determined by culture, what we really mean is that we let society tell us what to believe. We live by behavioral trends and then get offended any time someone has the nerve to share an unpopular way of measuring truth and the origins of morality – especially when shared in an opinion piece. Why bother getting offended if my version of truth is just as relative as everyone else’s?
I make no apologies for having strong, narrow views. But I assure you; I won’t require you to follow them.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Snapshots of my College Life
With only a month left until graduation, I am reflecting on these last four years. There were huge milestones and major pitfalls, and these are the most memorable ones I can think of:
FRESHMAN YEAR:
I have my first roommate, Jennifer
A few weeks into the semester, I realize that Philosophy is not all I thought it was cracked up to be...so I switch my major to another one of my great loves...ENGLISH (with a concentration on writing).
JUNIOR YEAR:
I studied abroad in Italy! In an action-packed semester, I learned a very difficult lesson: adventures do not always have to be comfortable in order to mean something. While suffering from homesickness, trying to adjust to life in another culture and learning to live with 5 other women, I found myself longing for the familiarity I was trying to escape from, and I realized that nothing is constant in this ever-changing world...only God.
An unusual lesson to learn when living in another country, but that's what happened.
And finally...
SENIOR YEAR:
Realizing I was no longer growing spiritually in Campus Crusade, I joined a new church, h2o.
And now, with only a month left of college, I wonder how I've made these last 4 years as meaningful as possible. This is only a brief overview of everything I experienced, and certainly does not do all four years justice. But I think I did an okay job of living it up, wouldn't you say?
FRESHMAN YEAR:
I begin with a Philosophy major and Jewish Studies minor. I have my young heart set on becoming a rabbi, a decision I made when I was 15.
I have my first roommate, Jennifer
And then I went Greek!
(...and then became un-Greek at the end of Freshman year)
SOPHOMORE YEAR:
The biggest decision of my entire life happened...I became a Christian! And I joined with my first church family, Campus Crusade for Christ.
Clearly, my dream of becoming a rabbi is no longer an option, and I realize that normal people don't have their entire lives mapped out when they're barely even old enough to drive a car. So I hang out in career limbo for a while...
JUNIOR YEAR:
I turned 21!
And...
I studied abroad in Italy! In an action-packed semester, I learned a very difficult lesson: adventures do not always have to be comfortable in order to mean something. While suffering from homesickness, trying to adjust to life in another culture and learning to live with 5 other women, I found myself longing for the familiarity I was trying to escape from, and I realized that nothing is constant in this ever-changing world...only God.
An unusual lesson to learn when living in another country, but that's what happened.
And finally...
SENIOR YEAR:
Realizing I was no longer growing spiritually in Campus Crusade, I joined a new church, h2o.
I became a columnist for my school newspaper, a job that forced me to develop thicker skin and challenged me to stand up for my ideals even if majority of readers disagreed with them.
And then I got baptized at the rec center
I begin thinking more about grad school, and decide to pursue a Masters in theology or divinity, with the goal of becoming a chaplain or pastoral counselor. I want a career where I can use my faith to help people, and honestly, I like the sound of Chaplain Caplin...hehe.
I also file a request with the state of Ohio to legally change my name from Sarah Elizabeth to Sarahbeth. I'd always hated my name growing up, but then after being baptized I realized, how cool would it be to do a name change like the original matriarch Sarah from the Old Testament did when she entered a new covenant with God? I didn't tell the judge that, though...
And then I studied abroad AGAIN in England, France, and then mosied over to Ireland for a few days...all over winter break.
And now, with only a month left of college, I wonder how I've made these last 4 years as meaningful as possible. This is only a brief overview of everything I experienced, and certainly does not do all four years justice. But I think I did an okay job of living it up, wouldn't you say?Friday, April 1, 2011
Excerpt from my book
This is just the introduction. It's the opening pages of my memoir, Confessions of a Prodigal Daughter (still a work in progress). It's a little long, so if you can read it all and not get bored...God bless you :)
Sitting in a hotel room in Jerusalem, I am facing my family, and they are waiting for me to come clean about a secret I’ve been hiding for almost a year. This is it, I think to myself. They know. I have prayed for the strength to handle this moment in a mature, reasonable way, but now I have no words…
Of all the stories I’ve read in the New Testament I can relate to the most, the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11 summarizes my life reasonably well. It is the story of a man with two sons, one of whom demanded his share of his father’s inheritance before he died. The father agreed to divide his wealth evenly between his two sons, but the younger son chose to squander his share on wild, irresponsible living. When he eventually ran out and began to starve, he came back to his father’s house and asked to be his son once again. Rather than demand an apology or even an explanation for his whereabouts, the father threw him a party to celebrate his return. When the older son chastised his father’s decision to celebrate the return of his selfish brother, the father said the occasion was worth celebrating because “he once was lost, but now he has been found.”
I’ve been the black sheep of my family for as long as I can remember. While my mother, father, brother and I all share the same hereditary sarcastic and at times dry sense of humor, our religious and political beliefs could not be more different. I grew up in a family that embraced cultural over spiritual Judaism. Everything I learned about God was in Sunday school, not in my household. I embraced my Jewish identity as long as it would leave my dietary habits alone. Going to Hebrew school and the occasional Shabbat service was a chore that both my brother and I deeply resented, but nonetheless, it was our duty to both our ancestors and our tiny Jewish community to represent and make our presence there known.
The Judaism that I grew up with was centered on community, social action, and a strong passion for Israel. All of those things are extremely important; however, none of them proved to be a substitute for what I so desperately craved -- a genuine relationship with God.
Over the process of many years, God reached out to me. He called me by name and I became acquainted with the one person in the history of the human race whose name has always invoked a whirlwind of controversy and provocation, more so than any other political and/or religious figure the world has ever known: Jesus Christ.
The name itself, in its full entirety and not the shortened “Jesus” as he is referred to by the Jewish community (because “Christ,” which means “anointed one,” affirms his identity as the Son of God), still has a funny taste in my mouth. To speak of him as a personal friend and not simply a historical figure still feels as obscure as attempting to explain my life story in Swahili.
While I can explain as well as I know my own address the reasons I am drawn to Christianity, there are some things I will never get used to, like simply saying to others “I am a Christian” or “I have to go to church.” “Christian-ese” is a language of its own I hope I never become fluent in. I can’t stand the common clichéd expressions like “born again,” “getting saved,” “accepting Jesus into your heart,” and my personal favorite, “quiet time with the Lord” (I vividly remember “Quiet Time” being a kid-friendly euphemism for nap time when I was in preschool).
My Judaism continues to impact my Christianity in grand and miniscule ways. For example, I have learned to get used to praying with my hands folded, but kneeling feels awkward because it reminds me of how the Jews were once slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, and forced to bow only to him. Jewish culture isn’t without its own language and euphemisms, too. “Oy vey!” is a phrase I will likely never outgrow. Being driven to make the world a better place (a goal, nay, an obligation that is the beating heart of what Judaism is all about), I used the word mitzvah (meaning “act of kindness” in Hebrew) in my speech almost as often as the word “like” peppers the vocabulary of a Valley Girl. I still feel more inclined to use the word “mitzvah” in place of any English euphemism; it’s simply stuck with me.
Part of me hopes I never get too comfortable “acting Christian” because then it will be as if I lost whatever strands of Judaism I still have left to claim. My Jewish identity, I quickly discovered, is not something I can change like a pair of socks. My Jewish identity is as permanent to me as my skin, hair, and eye color, my right-handedness, my blood type. I still see the world through Jewish-colored lenses, and my ability to scan a phonebook for all the Jewish-sounding last names has yet to be doctored. But these things alone are no justification as to why Judaism and Christianity can fit together, or why anyone should ever attempt to do so.
I think most Jews admire Jesus in a “look but don’t touch” sort of way. I know I sure did. Throughout my life he was something of an enigma to me, someone I admired from afar like that popular high school boy I could never work up the guts to say hi to. From time to time I flirted with the idea of worshiping him, feeling the same kind of rush as a teen girl who associates with that infamous bad boy her parents warned her to stay away from.
The more forbidden Jesus was to me, the more my curiosity about him grew. But because he was off limits to me, I also resented him for the wedge that exists between Jews and Christians, which I assumed was his fault. Certain events in my life proved to me that he was trying to reach me all along, but I attempted to resist every step of the way, bickering and picking fights with him like we were an old married couple.
No one will deny that Jesus was a great teacher who said great things, but for the Jew, that’s pretty much all that he is.
The most popular question my Christian friends asked me growing up was always why the Jews “reject” Jesus as Lord and Savior, and there are many reasons for that. First of all, I object to the use of the word “reject” when talking about why Jews don’t believe in Jesus. You can deny or otherwise choose not to believe in the divinity of Christ, but to me you cannot “reject” someone who has never been a part of your life in the first place. Jews “rejecting” Jesus as their savior is like a woman turning down a date from a man she has not yet met.
Aside from the biblical, historical, and translational reasons, Jews are much like Catholics with regard to harboring guilt. There have never been many Jews to begin with, but thanks to Hitler and the Holocaust, the number of Jews on planet earth has been reduced to less than 1%. Not surprisingly, to embrace Jesus is deemed equivalent to rejecting the sacrifice of our common ancestors who willingly gave their lives so Judaism could thrive. Secondly, Jewish culture is pretty cool, who would want to give that up?
Thirdly, the feelings of our families and friends are definitely a concern, because a strong sense of community is just one of many reasons why the Jews have not gone extinct. To embrace a religion that has resulted in the persecution of Jews for millennia is considered the ultimate betrayal. Everyone is affected. On that note, even the mere thought of Christianity can bring to mind what countless Jews have suffered when they refused to convert. Lastly, since Christianity is the dominating religion of American society, and most Jews in America are decidedly liberal, Christianity is often deemed equivalent to the raging fanatics that get their own pulpits on national television.
While I certainly understand a dislike or mistrust of Christianity for the above reasons, I must point out that in the same way Christians can unfairly generalize Jews, many Jews can benefit from a lesson on judging the Christian faith for what it really is by reading the New Testament for themselves, and not by taking their lessons from the many people who poorly represent the name of the savior they claim to follow. Christians could also benefit from taking a look at the Talmud as well.
My family and my Jewish friends, though starting to become more accepting of my decision, may never understand completely. To them, it probably seems as if I have squandered my Jewish education the way the prodigal son squandered his father’s money on frivolous, blasphemous things. But unlike the prodigal son, I have yet to return to the home that is traditional, sans-New Testament Judaism. To them – and even to myself at times – I am always going to be a prodigal daughter of sorts. I became lost, stranded far away from what is familiar. I still have yet to be found.
As a pilgrim on the quest to figure out who I really am and what God’s purpose for my life is supposed to be, I have to say that it is not my job, nor is it any obligation, to prove to Jews why they need Jesus to be “complete.” Such terminology still rubs me the wrong way, and reminds me of how small and patronized I felt when I’d run into (literally run into) evangelists on street corners, demanding to know if I was saved. It’s easy to despise Christians for claiming to have a monopoly on the truth, and unabashedly telling anyone who disagrees that they are destined to become a barbecue for Satan.
I will never use such tactics because I know it is not my duty to change anyone; rather, it is my duty to share my testimony in such a way that, at the very least of possibilities, clears up any misconceptions people may have about Christianity, and lessen the gap that is still prominent between Jews and Christians today. These two faiths, both profoundly different and profoundly similar, need each other. We have too much to learn from each other to remain at arm’s length, afraid to cross invisible boundary lines.
While the term “prodigal daughter” is not one that I use proudly to refer to myself, nonetheless I believe it is an accurate way to describe my struggles, my doubts, my fears, and my questions that I’ve had along the way to discovering a relationship with the Creator of the universe. This is not a tale of being lost for a period of time and suddenly being found, nor is it a cautionary lecture to Jewish parents on what can happen if their children do not receive a quality Jewish education. Instead, this is the story of the places I’ve been, the lessons I’ve learned, the struggles I’ve faced, and the pieces of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way.
We are what we indulge in?
One of the highlights of my study abroad experience in Italy last semester was touring the Roman Colosseum. My friends and I were riveted by our tour guide’s animated and graphic depiction of the stadium's use for violent means of entertainment—from gladiator fights to brutal executions.
Over two thousand years later, we Americans believe our society to be far more civilized. It’s illegal for humans to wrestle with animals that can only be found in zoos, and the methods once used by the Romans for execution are now deemed cruel and unusual.
Executions by the state are carried out in private chambers. These laws and practices are in place because we have progressed beyond the primitive days when such activities were considered acceptable for public amusement.
Interestingly, these “civilized” laws and practices don’t extend to movies, our most preferred form of entertainment.
We let ourselves off the hook for enjoying the torture and grisly murders we view in theaters on the premise that it’s all fake; the actors aren’t actually being hurt, and violence is “essential” to the plot. Some movies, like Hotel Rwanda, require some violence to make a point. Other movies, like the infamous Saw franchise, thrive on violence more than quality scriptwriting to captivate audiences. I go to the movies to enjoy a two-hour escape from reality and a good plot. I don’t go for the purpose of tossing up my lunch.
One MTV film critic said in an interview about the fifth Saw installment, “The movie opens with a guy being chopped in half. This does not surprise me, but what does surprise me is that the theater erupts with cheers. The question goes from 'What have I become?' to 'Who are these people I'm surrounded by?'”
The reactions of that audience probably weren’t much different from the reactions of the crowds in ancient Rome getting their rocks off at gladiators tearing each other to pieces. The sad, yet ironic truth is, our society is heading in a direction that is not unlike the one of ancient Rome. We don’t have a whole lot to pride ourselves on in comparison, except a better use of restraint from carrying out such deeds in stadiums using real people, and not stunt doubles.
I have to wonder when a line is crossed between mindless entertainment and brainwashing. Some questions to consider: are we or aren’t we what we choose to indulge in? If we become desensitized to acts of violence made to look as realistic as possible on the big screen, will we eventually get bored and crave more? Will we no longer be as horrified to hear about it happening to real people in the real world? Furthermore, what will happen to our sense of compassion if we crave the gritty details of real-life violence, completely losing focus of the fact that a real, living person suffered, someone who could very easily be one of us?
I don’t believe that the media are solely responsible for numbness to real-life violence, but I do think there is a direct correlation.
Over two thousand years later, we Americans believe our society to be far more civilized. It’s illegal for humans to wrestle with animals that can only be found in zoos, and the methods once used by the Romans for execution are now deemed cruel and unusual.
Executions by the state are carried out in private chambers. These laws and practices are in place because we have progressed beyond the primitive days when such activities were considered acceptable for public amusement.
Interestingly, these “civilized” laws and practices don’t extend to movies, our most preferred form of entertainment.
We let ourselves off the hook for enjoying the torture and grisly murders we view in theaters on the premise that it’s all fake; the actors aren’t actually being hurt, and violence is “essential” to the plot. Some movies, like Hotel Rwanda, require some violence to make a point. Other movies, like the infamous Saw franchise, thrive on violence more than quality scriptwriting to captivate audiences. I go to the movies to enjoy a two-hour escape from reality and a good plot. I don’t go for the purpose of tossing up my lunch.
One MTV film critic said in an interview about the fifth Saw installment, “The movie opens with a guy being chopped in half. This does not surprise me, but what does surprise me is that the theater erupts with cheers. The question goes from 'What have I become?' to 'Who are these people I'm surrounded by?'”
The reactions of that audience probably weren’t much different from the reactions of the crowds in ancient Rome getting their rocks off at gladiators tearing each other to pieces. The sad, yet ironic truth is, our society is heading in a direction that is not unlike the one of ancient Rome. We don’t have a whole lot to pride ourselves on in comparison, except a better use of restraint from carrying out such deeds in stadiums using real people, and not stunt doubles.
I have to wonder when a line is crossed between mindless entertainment and brainwashing. Some questions to consider: are we or aren’t we what we choose to indulge in? If we become desensitized to acts of violence made to look as realistic as possible on the big screen, will we eventually get bored and crave more? Will we no longer be as horrified to hear about it happening to real people in the real world? Furthermore, what will happen to our sense of compassion if we crave the gritty details of real-life violence, completely losing focus of the fact that a real, living person suffered, someone who could very easily be one of us?
I don’t believe that the media are solely responsible for numbness to real-life violence, but I do think there is a direct correlation.
Don't let your brains fall out!
We at Kent State have been blessed with the gift of diversity. For a small-town girl like me, the opportunity to meet people of different faiths, political views and lifestyles has made me a more rounded person. I value the friendships I’ve made with people who are different from me, but at the same time, my personal beliefs have also continued to grow.
Have you ever heard the expression “If you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out”? It means there comes a point where we as a society try to be so accepting of others’ beliefs as equally valid to our own that we lose sight of our own tightly-held standards. We become so afraid to share what we really think because the risk of offending other people becomes more important than standing up for what we believe in.
When we preface every statement we make with “I don’t mean to offend you…,” what are we hoping to accomplish? The truth is, people can and will be offended by any statement we make that we assert to be true, from whether rock music is better than rap to green being a better color than blue. I don’t think it’s inappropriate to share what you believe to be true with someone in an intellectual discussion as long as you don’t try to shut the other person down by insisting he is wrong. What I do believe to be inappropriate, and a little sad, is watering down our sacred beliefs out of fear of what other people will think.
Face it: We all want to be liked. We all want to be accepted and loved. But I don’t see how modifying our beliefs¬— the way a chameleon modifies its skin— to blend in with our surroundings is the best way to do that. That’s not to say that it’s wrong to have our beliefs change and grow as we go through different experiences, which in college, that’s just inevitable. The beliefs I have now as a senior are extremely different than when I was a freshman. But that happened on my own terms, not because I wanted to blend in with everyone else’s values.
If anyone is going to dislike me, I would rather it be because of who I am, and not who I pretend to be. If I ever disagree with someone in conversation, my first response would be to ask how he arrived at that conclusion. Maybe he can teach me something. And vice versa.
Have you ever heard the expression “If you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out”? It means there comes a point where we as a society try to be so accepting of others’ beliefs as equally valid to our own that we lose sight of our own tightly-held standards. We become so afraid to share what we really think because the risk of offending other people becomes more important than standing up for what we believe in.
When we preface every statement we make with “I don’t mean to offend you…,” what are we hoping to accomplish? The truth is, people can and will be offended by any statement we make that we assert to be true, from whether rock music is better than rap to green being a better color than blue. I don’t think it’s inappropriate to share what you believe to be true with someone in an intellectual discussion as long as you don’t try to shut the other person down by insisting he is wrong. What I do believe to be inappropriate, and a little sad, is watering down our sacred beliefs out of fear of what other people will think.
Face it: We all want to be liked. We all want to be accepted and loved. But I don’t see how modifying our beliefs¬— the way a chameleon modifies its skin— to blend in with our surroundings is the best way to do that. That’s not to say that it’s wrong to have our beliefs change and grow as we go through different experiences, which in college, that’s just inevitable. The beliefs I have now as a senior are extremely different than when I was a freshman. But that happened on my own terms, not because I wanted to blend in with everyone else’s values.
If anyone is going to dislike me, I would rather it be because of who I am, and not who I pretend to be. If I ever disagree with someone in conversation, my first response would be to ask how he arrived at that conclusion. Maybe he can teach me something. And vice versa.
Sex and subliminal slavery in the city
When I think of feminism, I think of women deserving to have the same rights as men, and equal protection under the law. The feminist movement, despite its good intentions, unknowingly made it permissible for women to degrade men under the guise of “sexual freedom,” completely contradicting its original purpose.
I wonder how many women are aware of the irony in embracing the douchebag qualities of men that sparked the feminist movement in the first place. The underlying message of the ever-popular TV show “Sex and the City” is that women having sex "like men" (solely for pleasure, no strings attached) without the burden of a scarlet letter is more than just a treasured freedom. It’s a fundamental right.
Nothing is being accomplished as more women embrace this mindset. Today, women are adopting the same oppressive attitudes of the men who used women as nothing more than sex objects. It makes little difference that both parties agree that no commitment will come out of their sexual relations. The attitude of "I don't really care about this person, but wow is he/she hot" remains the same. Women do not gain power and dignity if men have permission to view them as nothing more than vehicles of pleasure, all because now the woman is supposed to be "proud" of her body and "own" her sexuality.
Men have gotten away with oppressing women and using them for sex for far too long. Women who gleefully mimic their oppressors by treating men the exact same way are making a grave mistake.
It depresses me to see how many women fall victim to the belief that being proud of their bodies and sexuality (now that, at least in the United States, it's no longer taboo to express it) means submitting themselves as playthings, even with their knowledge and consent. Why should men feel bad about objectifying women, if more women subconsciously embrace the values that once enslaved them?
Sexual freedom for women should mean not having to worry about having to sleep with a guy as compensation for a nice dinner. Sexual freedom should mean that both genders don’t have to worry about when they should sleep together so they'll know for sure the other is "interested." Sexual freedom, above all else, is the ability to say "no" without having to be labeled a prude.
I wonder how many women are aware of the irony in embracing the douchebag qualities of men that sparked the feminist movement in the first place. The underlying message of the ever-popular TV show “Sex and the City” is that women having sex "like men" (solely for pleasure, no strings attached) without the burden of a scarlet letter is more than just a treasured freedom. It’s a fundamental right.
Nothing is being accomplished as more women embrace this mindset. Today, women are adopting the same oppressive attitudes of the men who used women as nothing more than sex objects. It makes little difference that both parties agree that no commitment will come out of their sexual relations. The attitude of "I don't really care about this person, but wow is he/she hot" remains the same. Women do not gain power and dignity if men have permission to view them as nothing more than vehicles of pleasure, all because now the woman is supposed to be "proud" of her body and "own" her sexuality.
Men have gotten away with oppressing women and using them for sex for far too long. Women who gleefully mimic their oppressors by treating men the exact same way are making a grave mistake.
It depresses me to see how many women fall victim to the belief that being proud of their bodies and sexuality (now that, at least in the United States, it's no longer taboo to express it) means submitting themselves as playthings, even with their knowledge and consent. Why should men feel bad about objectifying women, if more women subconsciously embrace the values that once enslaved them?
Sexual freedom for women should mean not having to worry about having to sleep with a guy as compensation for a nice dinner. Sexual freedom should mean that both genders don’t have to worry about when they should sleep together so they'll know for sure the other is "interested." Sexual freedom, above all else, is the ability to say "no" without having to be labeled a prude.
Every cause has its village idiot
This semester, I decided to do something a little different and take three courses on religion and how it relates to our modern world. Needless to say, the discussions have been interesting and, at times, very intense. I have listened to brief testimonies of people who grew up in religious homes (mostly Christian), only to shed those beliefs once they entered college. As provocative as they are insightful, the common thread linking those stories was hypocrisy in their respective churches that eventually drove them away from their faith.
I think anyone who claims to have faith should show evidence of it in their daily lives. Sadly, many people don’t, and I can’t say I blame anyone who decides to bow out of religion altogether.
Religion is the root of all evil, some will say; however, I hear more people using negative examples of Christianity to explain their distaste for religion than any other faith. Have we all forgotten that Christianity isn’t the only religion whose message gets perverted by extremists?
It doesn’t matter what religion we’re talking about; a generalization is a generalization, and a stereotype is a stereotype. Both are harmful and, for the most part, unjustified. Every tree has its bad apples, and every cause has its village idiot. We can only pray that the people responsible for doing a disservice to their faith see the light. We should strive to bring true, genuine examples of what we believe to everyone we know. This is how hearts and lives get changed: by being open to educating ourselves and letting go of past grievances based on isolated incidents that cloud our judgment.
Yes, there are many annoying Christians dominating the media who deserve the criticism they get. There are plenty of hypocrites who almost make me feel ashamed of my faith. But please, in spite of all that, realize that judging Christianity by the poor example set by your pastor, a politician, or any other celebrity is just as dangerous and harmful as judging all members of other religions for the negative examples in those communities. Not all who are persecuted in the name of religion are persecuted in the name of Christianity. Education is the tool for ending discrimination and stopping the spread of lies.
I think anyone who claims to have faith should show evidence of it in their daily lives. Sadly, many people don’t, and I can’t say I blame anyone who decides to bow out of religion altogether.
Religion is the root of all evil, some will say; however, I hear more people using negative examples of Christianity to explain their distaste for religion than any other faith. Have we all forgotten that Christianity isn’t the only religion whose message gets perverted by extremists?
It doesn’t matter what religion we’re talking about; a generalization is a generalization, and a stereotype is a stereotype. Both are harmful and, for the most part, unjustified. Every tree has its bad apples, and every cause has its village idiot. We can only pray that the people responsible for doing a disservice to their faith see the light. We should strive to bring true, genuine examples of what we believe to everyone we know. This is how hearts and lives get changed: by being open to educating ourselves and letting go of past grievances based on isolated incidents that cloud our judgment.
Yes, there are many annoying Christians dominating the media who deserve the criticism they get. There are plenty of hypocrites who almost make me feel ashamed of my faith. But please, in spite of all that, realize that judging Christianity by the poor example set by your pastor, a politician, or any other celebrity is just as dangerous and harmful as judging all members of other religions for the negative examples in those communities. Not all who are persecuted in the name of religion are persecuted in the name of Christianity. Education is the tool for ending discrimination and stopping the spread of lies.
The virtue of tolerance
I have a friend who is involved in an anti-abortion ministry. Basically, she gives the women who enter the clinic some pamphlets that offer free counseling, sonograms and any other service they might need. She is not legally allowed to cross a boundary line between public property and the premises of the clinic. She greets the women with a smile and does not harass them for the choice they are about to make. No one in her group carries picket signs displaying graphic images of post-abortion fetuses. They are only there to show compassion when it is needed most.
A few days ago, my friend received a death threat. Ironically, she was criticized and threatened for doing exactly what the perpetrator was so in favor of: offering women a choice. Furthermore, among other unprintable insults, the anonymous perpetrator accused her of being “intolerant.”
I used to think that tolerance was about allowing people to make their own life choices and respecting their right to do so, even if you disagree with them. My friend and I do not believe that abortion should be legal; however, we cannot make choices for other people. My friend was within her rights to offer help to the women, many of them undoubtedly terrified and emotionally scarred. Yet, an extremist who disagreed strongly with her position simultaneously condemned her right to express what she believes in. For someone so adamantly for a women’s right to choose, he or she did not respect my friend’s choice.
If being “tolerant” means that you are not allowed to stand up for what you believe is right, in such a way that does not infringe on the rights of others, then I guess that makes me intolerant as well. I will never understand how some people who preach tolerance as a sacred virtue are so quick to show intolerance to others for simply disagreeing with them. Whether the subject is abortion, gay marriage, religion or any other hot-button issue, tolerance seems to be something very often demanded but seldom received.
What ever happened to the expression that perfectly summarizes the right we have as Americans? “I may not like what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Isn’t that what true tolerance is all about?
A few days ago, my friend received a death threat. Ironically, she was criticized and threatened for doing exactly what the perpetrator was so in favor of: offering women a choice. Furthermore, among other unprintable insults, the anonymous perpetrator accused her of being “intolerant.”
I used to think that tolerance was about allowing people to make their own life choices and respecting their right to do so, even if you disagree with them. My friend and I do not believe that abortion should be legal; however, we cannot make choices for other people. My friend was within her rights to offer help to the women, many of them undoubtedly terrified and emotionally scarred. Yet, an extremist who disagreed strongly with her position simultaneously condemned her right to express what she believes in. For someone so adamantly for a women’s right to choose, he or she did not respect my friend’s choice.
If being “tolerant” means that you are not allowed to stand up for what you believe is right, in such a way that does not infringe on the rights of others, then I guess that makes me intolerant as well. I will never understand how some people who preach tolerance as a sacred virtue are so quick to show intolerance to others for simply disagreeing with them. Whether the subject is abortion, gay marriage, religion or any other hot-button issue, tolerance seems to be something very often demanded but seldom received.
What ever happened to the expression that perfectly summarizes the right we have as Americans? “I may not like what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Isn’t that what true tolerance is all about?
The hypocrisy of MTV
For strict research purposes only (I swear!), I watched a few episodes of Teen Mom. Back when the show began, it didn’t seem all that likely that Farrah, Maci, and Amber’s fame would sky-rocket to Kate Gosselin and Octomom status. They’re not the only teens to get pregnant, after all. The show was intended to portray the gritty, real-life struggle that the average teen mom faces. I actually thought it was well done, but the hard truth is that the average teen mother doesn’t have the boatloads of money from MTV to cushion the blow of financial distress that often comes with raising an infant.
MTV has made it loud and clear that having a child before graduating high school with an on-again, off-again partner is no picnic. For what the girls (Maci in particular) have had to give up for their kids, even when they clearly didn’t want to, I can respect them. But what I can’t respect is the assertion that all teens, even ones with babies, are still expected to continue hooking up.
Considering that sex is how the babies got born in the first place, why was Farrah commended for seeking birth control after the birth of her daughter? Encouraging any teen with a sex drive to do the same isn’t a sales pitch MTV can sell without being hypocritical. We all know that no form of birth control is 100 percent foolproof. Except, God forbid, abstinence.
The issue of teen pregnancy being out of control goes beyond the fact that abstinence-only education doesn’t work. The producers of MTV, as well as parents and teachers, need to consider the implications behind the saying “They’re going to do it anyway, so let’s show them how to be safe.” Yes, teenagers have hormones. Yes, they’re difficult to control. But it’s the mindset of “everybody’s doing it,” popularized by networks like MTV, that decreases the effectiveness of abstinence.
Distributing condoms like Halloween candy isn’t a way to look out for teens, it’s a cop out to replace the difficult task of teaching self-control; a virtue that is just as relevant now as it was in the Puritan era. Why aren’t more teens offended by the assumption that their ability to make decisions in light of how they will affect their futures is unlikely, if not impossible?
It’s easy to believe that the majority of teens are lazy, selfish and irresponsible, but I’d like to have a bit more faith in them than that. Most teenagers actually don’t get pregnant before they graduate. Is luck the only reason why that is, or is there a more substantial reason?
MTV can’t have it both ways. The makers of the show can’t paint teen motherhood as the less-than-ideal life path and still make hooking up with little concern for the consequences seem cool and normal. Not every teen mom in America can become a reality star to cover the cost of food, diapers and medical bills. So until MTV and the villages that help raise children start changing their tune, expect more teen moms…and poverty.
MTV has made it loud and clear that having a child before graduating high school with an on-again, off-again partner is no picnic. For what the girls (Maci in particular) have had to give up for their kids, even when they clearly didn’t want to, I can respect them. But what I can’t respect is the assertion that all teens, even ones with babies, are still expected to continue hooking up.
Considering that sex is how the babies got born in the first place, why was Farrah commended for seeking birth control after the birth of her daughter? Encouraging any teen with a sex drive to do the same isn’t a sales pitch MTV can sell without being hypocritical. We all know that no form of birth control is 100 percent foolproof. Except, God forbid, abstinence.
The issue of teen pregnancy being out of control goes beyond the fact that abstinence-only education doesn’t work. The producers of MTV, as well as parents and teachers, need to consider the implications behind the saying “They’re going to do it anyway, so let’s show them how to be safe.” Yes, teenagers have hormones. Yes, they’re difficult to control. But it’s the mindset of “everybody’s doing it,” popularized by networks like MTV, that decreases the effectiveness of abstinence.
Distributing condoms like Halloween candy isn’t a way to look out for teens, it’s a cop out to replace the difficult task of teaching self-control; a virtue that is just as relevant now as it was in the Puritan era. Why aren’t more teens offended by the assumption that their ability to make decisions in light of how they will affect their futures is unlikely, if not impossible?
It’s easy to believe that the majority of teens are lazy, selfish and irresponsible, but I’d like to have a bit more faith in them than that. Most teenagers actually don’t get pregnant before they graduate. Is luck the only reason why that is, or is there a more substantial reason?
MTV can’t have it both ways. The makers of the show can’t paint teen motherhood as the less-than-ideal life path and still make hooking up with little concern for the consequences seem cool and normal. Not every teen mom in America can become a reality star to cover the cost of food, diapers and medical bills. So until MTV and the villages that help raise children start changing their tune, expect more teen moms…and poverty.
If you meant it, you should have put a name on it
Speaking your mind always comes with an element of risk. Several thoughts can be running through your mind when the moment comes to stand up for something: What will people think of me? How much criticism will I get for this? Is it worth it?
Yes, there are some issues that are insignificant and not worth getting upset over. I can’t say with any authority what those issues are, but if a person happens to feel strongly about something, he or she deserves to be heard.
Speaking your mind takes guts. Even if what you say offends a great number of people, nay-sayers don’t deserve to rob you of your right to say it; however, I do believe that free speech has its limits, particularly when it comes to the Internet. The privilege of anonymity gets abused every time a person makes a strong statement about someone and doesn’t include his or her name with that statement. The virtue of honesty gets tarnished when a person uses the Internet as a vent for their frustration, rather than the face of the person who caused it.
When you agree or disagree with a person’s opinion, you are not a hero for hiding behind a computer screen when you respond to it. It takes just as much courage to express yourself to someone’s face as it does to express an opinion in the first place. Honesty and constructive criticism in a face-to-face conversation is what helps make someone a better person.
Nowadays, the Internet makes it easy to be flippant with our words and more deliberated with our reputations. Why are so many people’s online and real-life personas completely different from each other? The veil of anonymity makes it so. A person of true character and noble integrity is not afraid to own up to what they say. If you feel strongly about it, let the world know you wrote it. Anyone who puts themselves out there with a strongly-held opinion deserves feedback from people who are brave enough to do the same.
Yes, there are some issues that are insignificant and not worth getting upset over. I can’t say with any authority what those issues are, but if a person happens to feel strongly about something, he or she deserves to be heard.
Speaking your mind takes guts. Even if what you say offends a great number of people, nay-sayers don’t deserve to rob you of your right to say it; however, I do believe that free speech has its limits, particularly when it comes to the Internet. The privilege of anonymity gets abused every time a person makes a strong statement about someone and doesn’t include his or her name with that statement. The virtue of honesty gets tarnished when a person uses the Internet as a vent for their frustration, rather than the face of the person who caused it.
When you agree or disagree with a person’s opinion, you are not a hero for hiding behind a computer screen when you respond to it. It takes just as much courage to express yourself to someone’s face as it does to express an opinion in the first place. Honesty and constructive criticism in a face-to-face conversation is what helps make someone a better person.
Nowadays, the Internet makes it easy to be flippant with our words and more deliberated with our reputations. Why are so many people’s online and real-life personas completely different from each other? The veil of anonymity makes it so. A person of true character and noble integrity is not afraid to own up to what they say. If you feel strongly about it, let the world know you wrote it. Anyone who puts themselves out there with a strongly-held opinion deserves feedback from people who are brave enough to do the same.
Religious double standards
Walking to class last week, I passed by a display case in the Student Center filled with anti-theistic slogans on T-shirts, bumper stickers, pins and even pictures of what looked like protestors holding up signs saying “There is no God,” “Faith is no reason,” and “Smile! There is no hell!” Other slogans and comics did nothing but make fun of stories and teachings that religious people hold sacred.
I can’t help but imagine the extreme controversy that would take place if it were the other way around. What if that display case had been filled with stickers and pins with Bible verses on them that proclaimed Jesus Christ as the only way to heaven? The response would be overwhelming. Feelings would be hurt and cries of intolerance would be heard.
There have been many books published recently (which were also on display) by anti-theistic spokesmen such as Sam Harris and Christopher Hitchens who claim it’s insane to believe in God in an age when science and reason can explain the universe. In his documentary “Religulous,” Bill Maher paints religious leaders as dangerous and mocks their belief in creation and the resurrection. If religious people are labeled as intolerant for holding tightly to the beliefs of the Bible, the non-believers who ridicule them and belittle their intelligence are no better. How is that making this world a better place?
As a Christian, I understand that not everyone shares my beliefs. I don’t force my views on other people, but I will boldly speak up if someone tells me that I somehow lack the ability to be rational and think for myself just because I am a believer. It is no better than telling non-believers that there is no way for them to have morals, or that their lives have no purpose without religion. It’s understandable that many people have a beef with religion and/or religious people, but blatantly making fun of them is flat out wrong.
Religion is not to blame for the destruction of society: the innate human lust for power and authority is. Conflict will not disappear even if religion does because human beings will constantly find something to fight about and discriminate against. There will never be peace on this planet by insulting the other teams. A little respect goes a long way.
I can’t help but imagine the extreme controversy that would take place if it were the other way around. What if that display case had been filled with stickers and pins with Bible verses on them that proclaimed Jesus Christ as the only way to heaven? The response would be overwhelming. Feelings would be hurt and cries of intolerance would be heard.
There have been many books published recently (which were also on display) by anti-theistic spokesmen such as Sam Harris and Christopher Hitchens who claim it’s insane to believe in God in an age when science and reason can explain the universe. In his documentary “Religulous,” Bill Maher paints religious leaders as dangerous and mocks their belief in creation and the resurrection. If religious people are labeled as intolerant for holding tightly to the beliefs of the Bible, the non-believers who ridicule them and belittle their intelligence are no better. How is that making this world a better place?
As a Christian, I understand that not everyone shares my beliefs. I don’t force my views on other people, but I will boldly speak up if someone tells me that I somehow lack the ability to be rational and think for myself just because I am a believer. It is no better than telling non-believers that there is no way for them to have morals, or that their lives have no purpose without religion. It’s understandable that many people have a beef with religion and/or religious people, but blatantly making fun of them is flat out wrong.
Religion is not to blame for the destruction of society: the innate human lust for power and authority is. Conflict will not disappear even if religion does because human beings will constantly find something to fight about and discriminate against. There will never be peace on this planet by insulting the other teams. A little respect goes a long way.
A case against shacking up
When statistics show that today’s marriages fail as often as they succeed, it seems logical to take every precaution you can to know every little detail of your significant other before tying a permanent knot. You can be well aware that the person you’re dating has flaws, underscored by all the things you love about them, yet somehow the qualities that made you fall in love in the first place aren’t enough proof that the two of you are compatible for a lifetime. So, you decide to move in together.
Some couples move in together for financial reasons, but many others move in as a test run of sorts. In theory, the logic seems sound: you just want to find out how compatible you truly are, and what better way to do that than to share a home together?
I disagree with that logic for several reasons. For one, it feels too much like a job interview. Why would I agree to move in with a man so he can observe the flaws he wouldn’t get to see otherwise— the way I leave my bed unmade in the morning, or my dirty clothes on the floor— before deciding to “hire” me as his wife? If he truly loved me, shouldn’t that love be great enough to cover all those minor annoyances?
With the “test drive the car before you buy it” attitude so prevalent in today’s culture, I’m not at all surprised that so many marriages end in divorce. Living together before marriage may seem like the best way to ensure that won’t happen, but consider the purpose of having a wedding ceremony in the first place (hint: it’s more than the fancy dress and the nice gifts). When a couple gets married, they exchange vows before an audience of their relatives and closest friends. The witnesses of these vows have an obligation to help hold the couple accountable when times get rough. Living together with the intent of “testing” each other to see if you’re as compatible as you hope you are skips that vital step, and forsakes the idea of sacrificial love. That is the only kind of love that holds a relationship together.
When a person cares more about his or her own happiness than that of their significant other, it becomes more apparently why the divorce rate is so high. Too many people get married for the wrong reasons, have unrealistic expectations or lack the commitment to make it work. It’s not because they didn’t “test each other out” by living together before making the trip down the aisle.
Anyone longing to have a serious relationship should understand that real love is big enough to cover all the little things about our significant others that drive us crazy. Real love doesn’t treat a person as an experiment that can be disposed of. When times are tough, it’s much easier to pack up your things and leave if you aren’t married. The test-drive mentality of living together takes for granted everything that marriage requires in order to succeed: patience, courage and above all, a leap of faith— loud snoring and all.
Some couples move in together for financial reasons, but many others move in as a test run of sorts. In theory, the logic seems sound: you just want to find out how compatible you truly are, and what better way to do that than to share a home together?
I disagree with that logic for several reasons. For one, it feels too much like a job interview. Why would I agree to move in with a man so he can observe the flaws he wouldn’t get to see otherwise— the way I leave my bed unmade in the morning, or my dirty clothes on the floor— before deciding to “hire” me as his wife? If he truly loved me, shouldn’t that love be great enough to cover all those minor annoyances?
With the “test drive the car before you buy it” attitude so prevalent in today’s culture, I’m not at all surprised that so many marriages end in divorce. Living together before marriage may seem like the best way to ensure that won’t happen, but consider the purpose of having a wedding ceremony in the first place (hint: it’s more than the fancy dress and the nice gifts). When a couple gets married, they exchange vows before an audience of their relatives and closest friends. The witnesses of these vows have an obligation to help hold the couple accountable when times get rough. Living together with the intent of “testing” each other to see if you’re as compatible as you hope you are skips that vital step, and forsakes the idea of sacrificial love. That is the only kind of love that holds a relationship together.
When a person cares more about his or her own happiness than that of their significant other, it becomes more apparently why the divorce rate is so high. Too many people get married for the wrong reasons, have unrealistic expectations or lack the commitment to make it work. It’s not because they didn’t “test each other out” by living together before making the trip down the aisle.
Anyone longing to have a serious relationship should understand that real love is big enough to cover all the little things about our significant others that drive us crazy. Real love doesn’t treat a person as an experiment that can be disposed of. When times are tough, it’s much easier to pack up your things and leave if you aren’t married. The test-drive mentality of living together takes for granted everything that marriage requires in order to succeed: patience, courage and above all, a leap of faith— loud snoring and all.
The art of creeping responsibly
I was having a conversation not too long ago with a friend who asked this profound question: "In today's world, is there such a thing as a relationship that doesn’t begin with a little Facebook stalking before agreeing to a date?" As shallow as that may sound, I think it’s safe to assume that most of us have indulged in online creepery before, if not on a regular basis (come on, don’t lie and say you’ve never done it. We’re all guilty!).
In general, most of us might be reluctant to confess this because, well, it makes us look like stalkers. Then again, we all know that it’s completely ridiculous to post personal information online and somehow expect it to be unseen.
As voyeuristic as our culture has become, to a point where even the announcement of “Taking a shower” is groundbreaking enough to insert in a status, there is a definite double standard when it comes to online creeping. On one hand, we creep because we’re curious. If we’re looking at the page of a cute guy or girl we might consider dating, we usually check out their pictures first. I’ll admit that if I see pictures of a guy I’m interested in who has more pictures of himself shirtless trying to show off his six pack than pictures of himself with friends, I’d be inclined to think he’s a bit full of himself. The same could apply to the girls who post several of the infamous pouty-faced, Myspace-style self-portraits.
We creep in order to judge, even if we subconsciously know that judging someone solely by their Facebook content is wrong, and then we act surprised if someone such as a potential employer rejects us because of what we choose to post online.
If you have ever gotten too drunk at a party and done things you might regret, the shame of having to relive the experience by being tagged in pictures from that night can be humiliating and definitely not a true representation of who you are. Unfortunately, some curious people out there could make inaccurate conclusions regarding your character, and this is where a line must be drawn. On the other hand, there are some who may argue that certain people deserve to be judged for their stupidity if they post pictures of their blatantly illegal activities.
I know I can’t outright criticize Facebook creeping because then I’d be criticizing myself. There may come a time, if it hasn’t already happened, where every great love story begins with a little online “social research.” That being said, can we really justify freaking out if someone brings up our obsession with a certain TV show simply because they saw it on Facebook? As for the viewers, is it at all possible to “creep responsibly” and suspend personal judgment until meeting in person? To what extent can our online personas be separated from our real-life ones? Maybe in the 21st century that separation is so slim that it’s practically nonexistent, and “creeping responsibly” is just an oxymoron.
In general, most of us might be reluctant to confess this because, well, it makes us look like stalkers. Then again, we all know that it’s completely ridiculous to post personal information online and somehow expect it to be unseen.
As voyeuristic as our culture has become, to a point where even the announcement of “Taking a shower” is groundbreaking enough to insert in a status, there is a definite double standard when it comes to online creeping. On one hand, we creep because we’re curious. If we’re looking at the page of a cute guy or girl we might consider dating, we usually check out their pictures first. I’ll admit that if I see pictures of a guy I’m interested in who has more pictures of himself shirtless trying to show off his six pack than pictures of himself with friends, I’d be inclined to think he’s a bit full of himself. The same could apply to the girls who post several of the infamous pouty-faced, Myspace-style self-portraits.
We creep in order to judge, even if we subconsciously know that judging someone solely by their Facebook content is wrong, and then we act surprised if someone such as a potential employer rejects us because of what we choose to post online.
If you have ever gotten too drunk at a party and done things you might regret, the shame of having to relive the experience by being tagged in pictures from that night can be humiliating and definitely not a true representation of who you are. Unfortunately, some curious people out there could make inaccurate conclusions regarding your character, and this is where a line must be drawn. On the other hand, there are some who may argue that certain people deserve to be judged for their stupidity if they post pictures of their blatantly illegal activities.
I know I can’t outright criticize Facebook creeping because then I’d be criticizing myself. There may come a time, if it hasn’t already happened, where every great love story begins with a little online “social research.” That being said, can we really justify freaking out if someone brings up our obsession with a certain TV show simply because they saw it on Facebook? As for the viewers, is it at all possible to “creep responsibly” and suspend personal judgment until meeting in person? To what extent can our online personas be separated from our real-life ones? Maybe in the 21st century that separation is so slim that it’s practically nonexistent, and “creeping responsibly” is just an oxymoron.
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