And just about everyone has heard this expression: "Boys will be boys" (and curiously, there is no established age limit on "boys," as if some men are incapable of growing up).
This dichonomy has become a fascination to me lately. The above warnings may come from a well-intentioned place, but they are misguided. They seem to imply that a woman could be partially responsible for being assaulted or harassed. Yet in this culture, men are excused, to an extent, for disrespectful behavior because they're supposedly wired to be perverts.
If I were a guy, I'd be highly offended by the implication that my brain is located next to my balls. And yet, so many men revel in it, because it's such a convenient fallback. If society conditions men to be slaves to their hormones, then how can they ever be taken seriously as intelligent, moral human beings? Furthermore, if the woman is always blamed for somehow "provoking" unwanted attention to herself, then what is she expected to do...never go out in public, or dress like she time-traveled from the 18th century if she does?
The way I see it, we are asking the wrong questions. We need to stop questioning women's wardrobe choices, implying that it's a justification for assault or harassment. We need to stop asking why they find themselves in compromising situations with men who want to take advantage of them. It's one thing to miscalculate the risk, especially if alcohol is involved; it's completely another to have specific boundaries, and be unfairly blamed if those boundaries are crossed without consent.
Conversely, we should ask ourselves why we have made it acceptable for men to "rate" women based on sex appeal, and to treat them as trophies or conquests. And furthermore, why are women deemed slutty for doing the exact same thing?
There is something wrong with our sexual ethics is we continue to justify these attitudes. We are missing crucial opportunities to respect and learn about both sexes if the perpetrators of this blatant rape culture are written off as nothing more than "jerks," while their female targets are typically assumed to be temptresses.
Funny how I have a laundry list of reasons why certain aspects of feminism are damaging to women (not to mention that someone once told me I couldn't be a feminist because I'm also against abortion), but this is one issue I've grown passionate about lately, and I can't sit back and accept that this is simply "the way things are."
Okay, end rant. In other news, feel free to ooh and aah over these new puppies my family is adopting:
Names, as of now, are still TBA.
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