Saturday, October 19, 2013

"Public Displays of Convention," chapter 7


Is a motorcycle ride ever just a motorcycle ride?
Catch up on previous chapters here!    
     It’s Easter Sunday, and Tess has convinced me to resume our routine of going to church together. We used to go every week, but laziness and self-pity kept me from going to any of my usual places, including the gym, in the weeks after Jared broke up with me. Now, finally, I’m taking responsibility and re-immersing myself in the world I’m used to.
     Not surprisingly, as I return to the dorm that evening, the shout “Hey, AK-47!” stops me in my tracks. I’ve barely crossed the parking lot, and already my presence has been detected. Playfully I ask “Are you stalking me or something?” but I’m not entirely kidding. It’s starting to feel a little weird, the way he keeps surprising me like this. There might be a small chance it’s a coincidence, since we do live in the same building, but what are the odds of that? Why doesn’t he hang out in the student center like everyone else?
     “You flatter yourself, AK. I’m just about to indulge in some bad habits.” He holds up a pack of cigarettes, which is a perfectly convenient excuse not to kiss him!
     Asking where I went in such a pretty flowered dress, I remind him that today is Easter. His response: “Right, Zombie Jesus Day! How could I forget?”
     For the life of me, I cannot figure out what it is about this guy that still tempts me. I’ve never poked fun at his beliefs – actually, I’m not sure what his beliefs are, exactly, but I don’t pick up any religious vibes from him – so what gives him the right to make fun of mine? His only purpose in my life right now is to validate my sick need to feel loved, however temporarily. That makes me feel pretty despicable.
     Stuffing the cigarette box in his pocket, he says “On second thought, I’m kinda hungry. How do you feel about an Easter dinner? My treat.”
     Oh goodness, this is tempting. A meal I don’t have to pay for? Can I really refuse that, broke almost-graduate that I am? Or am I a tool for blatantly using him for food?
     Ugh, that smile. It’s infectious and entirely too convincing. Maybe, if I lay down the condition that this is between friends only, one meal with him would be harmless.
     “Sure,” I tell him. “But only if –”
     “Excellent. Would be a shame to waste that pretty outfit.”
     I’m pitifully speechless again. He is constantly full of surprises. Rather than walking toward the student center, where I assume he meant to eat, he takes my hand and walks into the parking lot, saying he wants to show off his motorcycle. He’s as gleeful as a small child showing off a new toy, and I can’t help but indulge him a little. “All right, show me your motorcycle.”
     Well, he does more than show me. He hands me a helmet, and my first thought is, Hell no. Honestly, it’s not him I don’t trust; rather, it’s the thought of my body brutally scraping against pavement if he rounds a corner too quickly in an attempt to impress me, or something.
     Sensing my apprehension, he pouts. “Oh come on, AK. Live a little. You can’t graduate college without riding a motorcycle.”
     Oh, hell. Chalk this up to one last undergraduate hurrah, I suppose. I take the helmet, which doesn’t fit easily over my ponytail, and nervously wrap my arms around him once I climb on. Who would have thought I’d ever have to literally cling to him for dear life? He’s loving every minute of this, I can tell.
     It should come as no surprise, once he revs up the engine a few more times than is probably necessary, that he drives us away from campus. Briefly, I panic. What if I’ve been wrong about him this whole time? What if these last few weeks of flirtation were nothing but a ruse to charm me into trusting him, all so he could drive me away like this, completely unsuspecting, into some remote wooded area, where God only knows what could happen…
     “Where are you going?” I hiss, having no choice but to hold on to him tighter as he speeds up.  “It’s a surprise!” is his predictable answer. Joy.
     We end up at Bellacino’s, a semi-fancy (by college student standards) Italian restaurant. Much too fancy to accept the school’s dining plan, which is accepted at some places outside of campus – usually places that are no fancier than McDonald’s.
     I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this irony: I’ve longed for a genuine, loving relationship for so long, and the first guy since Jared to show an interest is someone I shouldn’t want. Is this a normal phenomenon, or is my life sitcom material?
     I wouldn’t feel guilty about having Collin pay if we were dining at McDonald’s: but Bellacino’s? It doesn’t seem fair to accept this dinner off him when I have no intentions of dating him. At the same time, it’s too late to tell him now that we’ve already been seated, and he’s placed an order for a bottle of sparkling grape juice. Besides, he never actually used the word “date.” So, technically, this could be an outing for which the only goal is to enjoy each other’s company. That’s a stretch, I realize, considering his offer to pay. Still, I don’t want to be one to assume…
     Staring at the menu, I realize what a mistake this is. I want someone to love me, I want to feel cherished and special, but I hate dating. I hate the façade of putting on a show, the pressure to be my best self. I hate feeling self-conscious about which of my quirks to reveal, because who knows what personality traits are considered cute, and which ones are turn-offs?
     I want to be done with this agonizing competition to try to win a man’s heart. There’s so much pressure to be the prettiest, the smartest, the funniest; pressure to look my best when all I really want is to show up in sweatpants and my favorite T-shirt.
     There was never a “comfort period” like that with Jared. With constant subtle reminders of my imperfections (“You should work out more if you want to wear pants like those”), I could never simply be myself around him. I’m not convinced I can be myself around Collin, either. We’ve built a pseudo-relationship on a foundation of non-stop sarcastic banter that, quite frankly, is a little exhausting to keep up with. It’s like I’ll lose an unspoken competition if I can’t fire a comeback quickly enough.
     Dating, when it comes down to it, is a lot like auditioning for American Idol: thrilling, if you’re approved to go to the next level; devastating if you’re rejected.
     We have just placed the order for our meal, but already I feel sick. Deciding I no longer care about keeping up appearances, I ask a question I’d never dare to ask if this were someone I was truly desperate to impress: “Why are we here, Collin?”
     His confused expression, I must admit, is somewhat adorable. “We’re here to eat dinner, silly.”
     “No, I mean why are we here, in a booth at a fancy restaurant, implying to other people that we’re a couple or something? Where are you trying to go with this?”
     I’ve gone ahead and done what Tess says women should never do: initiate the DTR, or “Define the Relationship” conversation. It’s such a juvenile expression, but a very fitting one. Supposedly, the guy is the one who should start it, but I can’t remember why that is and I’m beyond caring about convention anymore.
     “Uhh,” he stumbles. “Well, I think you’re cute and interesting. I’d like to get to know you better. Is that a problem?”
     There’s still that obnoxiously charming twinkle in his eye, indicating that I’m supposed to retort with something clever. Instead I reply, “I guess not,” even if I think his answer is more than a little vague.
     “The day we met,” he continues, no longer grinning mischievously, but actually appearing concerned, “You seemed upset. Anything you want to discuss?”
     Well, that’s unexpected. Not to mention completely out of character, the little I’ve seen so far. All this time I thought he was being cutely obnoxious to start a casual fling, but that’s not the kind of question you’d ask someone you don’t want to get emotionally involved with. But how could he want to get emotionally involved when he attempted to kiss me before even learning my favorite color?
     “I forgot I had a paper due that day,” I say, attempting to relax. “You might as well know I’m the type who’s extremely anal about her grades.”
     “I see.” He doesn’t believe me, I can tell. “What class was it for?”
     “Great Books. It was a report on Great Expectations.”
     “There would be a book with the word ‘Great’ in the title for a Great Books class.”
     “I know, right?”
     Here we are again: the same old banter that keeps getting worse as it gets better, and damn near impossible to end once it’s already started. Like trying to contain Niagara Falls in a coffee mug.
     When our food arrives, we stop talking for a while. Is it “romantically correct” (as opposed to “politically correct”) to ask the girl to pay for her own meal if the guy decides, mid-date, that he doesn’t want to see her again?
     No, I’m the one who should offer to pay my own way. I’ll end this whatever-it-is first, just to avoid the humiliation of being the one to get dropped all over again. Always better to be safe than sorry.
     The waiter comes by, asking how our food turned out. I seize the opportunity and say “Can we have separate –”
     “It’s on one check,” Collin interrupts. Nodding, the waiter disappears, and Collin reaches for my sweaty hand from across the table. “Chill out, AK-47. I got this.”
     I am hereby excused from any accusation of leading him on. Still, it feels wrong.
     The ride back to campus is more nerve-wracking than before, now that it’s dusk, and pitch black from the tinted glass inside Collin’s helmet. I really have to trust him now that I can’t see a thing, and I hate myself for agreeing to this all over again.
     My paranoia is unfounded. We arrive back at the campus, safe and sound, and I accept his offer to walk me back to my room. Now I can pride myself on having experienced one official date since Jared: it means I’m not a complete loser.
     Yet here we are once more, alone in the hallway, and temptation creeps in like water from a sieve. What, exactly, is protocol here? With Jared, a kiss was the least amount of activity expected to close an evening together; was that just him, or do all guys expect that? Do I “owe” Collin for taking me out for a meal?
     Most importantly, do I want to kiss him, dinner or no dinner, simply because he’s Collin?
     Playing into the moment, he whispers “I had a great time tonight,” and he’s tracing my jawline again. Whatever it is he’s trying to do, he’s good at it – good in a way that tells me, somehow, it’s worked before. It feels calculated: rehearsed, even.
     When his hand cups my chin and slowly tilts my face toward his, I all but lose myself completely. His mouth is a centimeter away from meeting mine when common sense – or is it fear? – kicks in, and suddenly I am wrenching myself away.
     “There’s too much garlic on my breath, right?” he asks, at the same time I think Goodbye, last chance.
     “Uh, no, your breath is fine.” It just now occurs to me that if I were serious about this, I would have avoided kissing him anyway, simply because my breath reeks of garlic too. Or would it matter, if we both smell the same? It’s not like people never kissed each other before there was a standard for hygiene.
     “So what is it, then?” He sounds slightly irritated now, for which I can’t blame him. This was a two-person tango, after all. How can I back out without looking like a tease, or worse: revealing the real reason I can’t do this? Because even if Collin is about six inches taller than the man I used to date, maybe ten pounds heavier, and has blond hair instead of brown, I know I’d be pretending it’s Jared that I’m lip-locking instead.
     And that’s not fair to either of us.
     “I thought I was ready for this,” I stumble. “But I don’t think –”
     “Shhh, AK.” He puts his finger over my lips to shush me. “There’s no pressure here, okay? We don’t need to decide anything right now. I just want to have some fun with you.”
     All the lingering temptation sucks out of me like a vacuum. He thinks I’m nervous because of how kissing would affect the friendship, not because we’re about to kiss, period. Kiss and who knows what else.
     I understand now what I could not see before: I don’t need this. If Collin and I were to hook up tonight, and I imagine with all my heart that I’m with Jared again, a man who no longer loves me, what possible good would that do? I’m tangled enough in hurt as it is. I may not feel worthy of much, but somehow I know I’m worth more than this.
     “I think we’ve had enough fun already,” I tell him. My voice is icier than I intended, but I don’t apologize. Not for that, and not for sliding my key into the lock and slamming the door in his face.

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