This last weekend
may go down as the most epic in Beth soon-to-be Stoneburner history: I bought
my wedding dress, met Anna Nalick, and reflected on the 2nd
anniversary of my first book baby, Confessions of a Prodigal Daughter.
For those who have never heard of Amazing Anna (and sadly, many people haven’t, since she left her old record label several years ago), Anna Nalick is a self-described “indie
artist,” which makes her the patron artist of indie authors. She is the
incredible voice behind one of my favorite songs of all time, “Breathe,” as
well as the lesser-known song “These Old Wings” that helped get me through the
worst depression of my entire life.
Can I just say,
aside from being wicked talented and a sweet, down-to-earth person who tells
stories during her concerts, it’s so amazing to see a successful artist humbly
admit to struggling with depression herself. It reminded me that it’s often a
source of great art, be it music or literature. I can never have enough of
those reminders. I want people to feel the same about my books the way I feel
about Anna’s music.
She talked about
autobiographical writing as a way of freezing yourself in time. Your beliefs
and personality may develop through the years, but when you put yourself out
there to be read or listened to, you are in a sense forever bound to who you
were at that time.
That’s how I feel about Confessions. That book was not intended to become a bestseller. Writing it was my way of processing through the conflict of adopting beliefs that are wildly different from the ones my parents taught me, so it reads very much like the journal of a confused woman who is gradually becoming aware of her inner strength. I do not have the same doubts or beliefs that I did when it was published. But I’ve also become stronger in certain beliefs I was shaky about at the time. I can still sense the turmoil when I flip through it every now and then.
That’s how I feel about Confessions. That book was not intended to become a bestseller. Writing it was my way of processing through the conflict of adopting beliefs that are wildly different from the ones my parents taught me, so it reads very much like the journal of a confused woman who is gradually becoming aware of her inner strength. I do not have the same doubts or beliefs that I did when it was published. But I’ve also become stronger in certain beliefs I was shaky about at the time. I can still sense the turmoil when I flip through it every now and then.
My writing has
greatly improved in the last two years, along with my knowledge of the
publishing industry and marketing (and in a rapidly changing industry like
this, there is always more to learn!). I had this idea that having a book
available for purchase meant it would sell on its own. I couldn’t be more
wrong! Despite working on my fifth book, I’m not beating myself up for not
being “bigger” than I’d like to be, since I only actively started marketing
when my third book was released last August. Confessions may remain my only
memoir for the time being, as I quite enjoy the freedom of inserting my own
experiences into my characters, without locking myself into a certain set of
beliefs or characteristics. I’m also aware that the average 25-year-old is not world-weary enough for more than one memoir (or even just
one).
But today feels
like a birthday. So from this day forward, I can only learn more.
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