Things to quit thinking in 2014

Few links that are posted on Facebook end up being worth the time to read, but this one actually made me think: The top 37 regrets of dying people.

It’s funny how a short, non-specific list of generalities can change your thinking sometimes. But I needed to read this, and right now, as I’m still finishing off my mid-morning coffee, I’m devising my own list of “do nots” in hopes of being a better person.

Much of this list can be summarized by the following:  

Quit caring what other people think.  

I do this way too much, often without realizing it. Sometimes I feel the need to keep “trying on” different personas, and thoughts of, “Will this personality be liked? How about this one?” happen way too much. And it needs to stop. Trying too hard to get any group of people to like me has never worked for me in the end.

On that note…

Quit caring what other people think about your relationship.

Maybe all our friends got engaged after only six months of dating, and we’re wacky because it’s been over two years and we’re still in the “talking” phase of planning a marriage. Different people have different experiences and different amounts of baggage to sort through before making a life-long commitment. Their timing has nothing to do with mine.

Quit caring what other people think about your ink.

I never in a million years expected to become “that person” with several visible (depending on the season) tattoos. Well, I did. And they all tell a story, so the judgmental staring of a stranger means nothing to me if they don’t care to ask and get to know me.

Quit trying to maintain friendships that are better left to burn out.

I have this notion that sharing moments with someone in the past means I have to hang on to them forever. Sometimes life just doesn’t allow that to happen, for a variety of reasons. It doesn’t always mean that person did something wrong; but sometimes people have to be let go of. I firmly believe that some people are meant to meet you only at certain points in your life. 

 I’m trying to learn how to appreciate good moments for what they are, even if they are isolated in one afternoon or series of dinners. They were good, and I’m grateful, but sometimes moving on is just necessary.

And sometimes it’s better to hide the Facebook updates of certain people rather than feel an obligation to ‘like’ it.

If people want to post up to five times a day about how much they love their significant other, how many times he brought flowers to their work place, how excited they are for their wedding, that’s fantastic. Really. But if I keep feeling a temptation to compare my life, my significant other, my whatever to yours, you’re getting blocked. I’ll still talk to you in real life and share in your happiness. But I need to protect myself from the dreaded Comparison Game that no one really wins in the end.

I have this theory that truly happy people don't need to let Facebook hear about it all the time. But that's just me. If that causes some people to think I'm bitter, well, see List Item #1 :)

This is just a short compilation, and I’m sure more ideas will come later. But for now, I need to reread these things as often as it will take for me to accept and believe them…and train myself to be joyful.