A love-hate relationship with popular TV

I cannot keep silent about this anymore. Enough is enough! I must speak my mind, before I start to go stir-crazy.

*Ahem*

My name is Sarahbeth (no middle name) Caplin, and I am the only person I know who hates the popular show, "New Girl." Or, is the only person brave enough to admit it.

Even more confusing, some of my friends, whose judgment I wholly trust, have claimed to love this show. So that just begs the question, what is the matter with me??

I finally took my dilemma to Facebook: "Does this show get any better? Because I'm halfway through the first season, and I find it horrible." Man, some people were truly shocked that I could find any fault with this show. I admit, some episodes (or rather, a few lines per every other episode) are hilarious. But ultimately they aren't enough to hook me.

For whatever my not-so-humble opinion is worth, shock-value sex ruins good TV. What's truly upsetting about this show in particular is how great a premise it had. Talk about a show that I should, by description alone, fall instantly in love with: a twenty-something woman figuring out who she is, with a quirky set of roommates. But that hopeful premise fell flat when a date told Zooey's character Jess "I don't care about you, you don't have to care about me. We can still tear each other UP." And she...accepts?

I am a budding feminist and I cannot see this as entertaining.


This is far from the only show I've watched that doesn't line up with my values, and that alone is not enough reason for me to quit watching. What is it about this show in particular that bothers me so much? I guess I have a hard time appreciating it because I disagree with the idea that sex is something casual. I really think these shows are lying to me if they don't present the whole truth. They tell me I can jump from bed to bed as easily as switching brands of Kleenex. I've never heard of a real-life relationship starting with casual sex and leading to love...or ending without the slightest twinge of disappointment.

I honestly don't think I'm that much of a prude when it comes to entertainment. Curse words and sex scenes don't automatically ruin TV shows for me. The difference, I think, is context. If it's relevant to the story, or a character's development, then I can watch it. If there are other jokes and plot devices to round things out, then I consider it a decent show. I don't feel any compulsion to replicate the choices of characters I like. But if a show falls apart when you take the sex stuff out, then there's a problem.

My fellow author friend Kaitlyn and I have had an ongoing discussion about the placement of sex scenes in YA novels, and the same reasoning applies to TV shows too: a cleverly-written love scene can enhance the plot, but shock value is always going to be shock value, and ultimately it's not memorable. It's not original. It's just a desperate grab at ratings.


Bottom line: I tried to like this show. I really did. The characters are people I probably wouldn't hang out with in real life, which makes my potential fan-ship feel dishonest...but for every episode that makes me feel gross and in need of a shower, Schmidt has to say something that makes me pee my pants, and I keep watching. It may take me a while to break this apparent addiction, but I just had to get these feelings off my chest.

Whew! I feel better now. Thanks for listening. Now let the judgments roll ;)

Repost: Rape is nothing to joke about

This is a re-posting of a previous blog entry about comedian Daniel Tosh's rape jokes, which I cleaned up for a writing contest. I think it's way better than the original (but what do I know?) ;)

A certain episode of “Tosh.0,” starring comedian Daniel Tosh, making a rape joke has circulated the internet hundred-fold, and drawn critiques from two different camps: the "it's just comedy, lighten up" camp, and the "some things should never be joked about, ever" camp.

For those who haven't heard, here is what happened: Tosh made a series of generalizing comments about rape jokes being hilarious. A woman in the crowd became outraged, and called him out in the middle of the show: "Actually, rape is never funny!" Tosh fired back, "Wouldn't it be hilarious if, like, five guys just raped her right now?" Maniacal laughter ensued.

You may be thinking that the likelihood of a gang rape occurring in the middle of a comedy act is next to zero. However, it doesn’t matter if the threat of violence was real or not: that comment was meant to "put her in her place," so to speak, which it did: the woman ran straight for the nearest exit.

Why do we tell oppressive jokes? A better question: why do we find oppressive jokes funny?

There are tasteful ways to use humor to promote social examination of serious issues. But there are some lines that should not be crossed when it comes to comedy. When the end result of a joke is further oppression, and further promotion of already existing stereotypes, the joke is no longer funny. It's cruel.

Before you go on to accuse me of stomping on the First Amendment, consider the effect that rape jokes, like those made by Daniel Tosh, have on a society that is already poisoned by rape culture. It's very similar to the reason it's frowned upon to yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater.

Rape jokes trivialize a devastating, life-altering event. It’s racist and inappropriate to make jokes about lynch mobs; why is it not prejudiced and inappropriate to make jokes about other acts of violence?

Rape jokes can potentially justify further violence. However, if a woman was raped outside the set of Tosh.0, Daniel Tosh is not to be held liable. At the same time, a man of his influence is not doing victims any favors by perpetuating a "She was asking for it" mentality. She interrupted a comedy show? She's "asking" to get raped. She wore a short skirt to a club? She clearly wants to get laid. She left her drink unattended? She should have known what was coming to her. There may not be direct causation between Tosh's jokes and men who go and commit rape, but there is definite correlation.

Sadly, Daniel Tosh is far from the only symptom of what is wrong with society's response to rape. We live in a culture that makes it acceptable for these jokes to be told, and look what happened: Tosh’s ratings increased. We live in a culture where making fun of violence is okay, and we forget that the victims can just as easily be people we know. We may already know these victims, but men like Tosh have shamed them into silence.

Nothing to laugh about: excerpt from Someone You Already Know

It's sad and disappointing when people you once respected make jokes about things that just aren't funny. It's even more unfortunate when they defend such jokes, despite being told about their offensive nature. I wish these incidents didn't bother me so much, but I wouldn't want to be a rape crisis counselor if they didn't. So today, I think it's appropriate to share a similar scenario depicted in Someone You Already Know:

I take my usual seat at lunch by the vending machines and wait for Elisabeth when I hear a male voice behind me say “Man, I really got raped by that Algebra exam today.”

There are a million different reactions I could have to an ignorant statement like this. On one hand, I can ignore it. The kid is an idiot. He doesn’t know. But I can feel the blood pounding in my veins, rushing swiftly in my ears, and what I really want to do is turn and scream at the little fool. 

But to scream…to fight…to make any sound in my defense, that’s something I just don’t know how to do. Something I don’t know how to do well.

How does a word like rape, loaded with stigma and designed to shock, manage to get reduced to such common, blasé terminology to describe something as mundane as an Algebra test? Whether he meant to offend or not, just how stupid can some people be to not realize the full impact of their words?

I don’t have to say anything in my defense. A voice that sounds remarkably like Trevor’s calls out: “Hey! You think rape is something to joke about? You wouldn’t if it happened to you.”

I can’t not turn around now to see the looks on those guys’ faces; I think they feel genuinely remorseful now, seeing me sitting only a table away, but they also look shocked to hear a guy rebuke them in such a way. I can see the confused looks on their faces now: why would a guy speak out against a rape joke? After all, they’re probably thinking, it’s not like guys can be raped. 

If it was me who yelled at them, or some other girl, the sad reality is they’d probably have laughed and said something along the lines of “Lighten up.”